Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, October 5th, 2009 (USA Network)
Location: The Wachovia Arena in Wilkes-Barre, PA
Results by 411 Mania
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
-Live from the Wachovia Arena in Wilkes-Barre, PA
-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
-Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is out to a mixed reaction, and he acknowledges we might have some Eagles fans in attendance. He says he’s got something special right away, and that’s the diva bowl. Out come a host of Diva’s in Steeler gear. The heel divas come out in neutral white gear. Gail Kim will be the special guest referee.
Diva Bowl: Mickie James, The Bellas, Melina, Maria, Kelly Kelly, & Eve Torres vs. Rosa Mendes, Beth Phoeni, Layla, Jillian, Michelle McCool, Alicia Fox & Natalya
All the girls stand off, and collide, and that leads to Gail calling a penalty. Finally Rosa squares off with Mickie, and does the crane before being kicked in the face and she tags out to Alicia. Alicia whips Mickie into the corner, but runs into an elbow. Mickie goes to the top rope and delivers a hurracanrana, and follows up with a neckbreaker. Natalya breaks up the cover, but Eve runs comes into meet her. This leads to all the divas running in one at a time. Finally Mickie ends the sequence with a DDT to McCool, and a victory roll on Alicia finishes things at 3:01. Well it was kept short. I’ll give them that.
Winners: Mickie James, The Bellas, Melina, Maria, Kelly Kelly, & Eve Torres (Mickie pins Alicia-Victory Roll *)
-Randy Orton frowns on these shenanigans, and interrupts the celebration as we head to break.
-Orton says that last night at Hell in a Cell he defeated John Cena and became a six time WWE Champion. He says the people say he needs shortcuts, and that he needs to cheat, but last night he didn’t need any shortcuts. Orton says Cena and him walked in, and he beat him end of story. He says he’s willing to bet at any minute Cena will come out and interrupt him and ask for a Championship rematch. Orton says Cena needs to do what he needs to do, but he knows exactly what he will say to him. That brings out Cena, and he’s ready to go. Orton says Cena looks all excited, but he will NOT get a rematch for the title tonight. Cena says in that statement he told the WWE Universe what they already knew, and that’s that he doesn’t give a damn about them. He says he is however a WWE Superstar who strives to be the best, so what Cena wants to do is congratulate him on his win last night. Cena gives Orton his props for going into Hell in a Cell and doing what he said he was going to do. He says he could talk about how brutal the cell is, but the thing is there is something very special about what happened last night. Cena says what he noticed was 16,000 fans on their feet the entire time, and there were points when the fans were cheering for both of them. All of the fans were hanging on their every move, and it dawned on him that Cena and Orton has become not just a rivalry, but the rivalry. He says every time they are in the ring together it is simply amazing. Cena wants to do it one more time, and he says unlike Orton he cares about the fans and wants to give them that one more match. He wants to not just give the fans “a match” he wants to give them “the match” Cena challenges Orton to an 60 minute Ironman Match. He says this would be the final match. No rematches. No second chances. Orton asks Cena if he thinks he’s stupid. He says why would he accept the match if he can’t have a rematch. He says it needs to end, but it will end on his terms. Cena asks for the terms, and Orton obliges saying if Cena wins he gets the title, but if Orton wins Cena must leave Raw. Cena agrees to that stipulation, but Orton continues by asking for No DQ and No Count Outs. Cena seems to like that idea, and they shake hands on the deal. So its officially a No Holds Barred Ironman Match for the title. Cena’s career on Raw vs. Orton’s belt. No word on when this match will take place.
Jack Swagger vs. Primo
Swagger says he didn’t get pinned last night, and he promises for the rest of the year he will not lose. Cole announces that the Ironman Match will take place at the PPV. Way to use that Raw vs. Smackdown stip guys. Primo hits a hurracanrana early, but Swagger is right back with an Irish whip sending Primo to the corner. Swagger connects with a Vader Bomb, and then nails Primo with a series of forearms on the apron. Swagger delivers a belly to belly suplex for two, and then grabs a bearhug. Primo fights his way out of the corner, and delivers a dropkick for a one count. Primo heads to the outside and tries to springboard in, but gets caught with a kick from Swagger. Gutwrench powerbomb makes the fall academic at 3:24 for Swagger. Just a standard run of the mill squash which looks to start an undefeated streak gimmick for Swagger.
Winner: Jack Swagger (Pinfall-Gutwrench Powerbomb *1/2)
-The Divas are in a big argument, but it is broken up by Referee Santino and he announces a penalty. He says no one wants to see divas fight. He asks Mickie and Alicia to kiss and make up, but Alicia smacks him and they go back to brawling.
-We find out the gimmick of the upcoming pay per view isn’t Raw vs. Smackdown matches, but rather just a regular pay per view. The winners of the Raw matches will face the winners of the Smackdown matches in a tag team match to close the show…okay then.
-Miz interrupts Big Ben, and wants to know if he heard what Swagger said out there. He complains about Swagger’s comments about not getting pinned last night. Ben asks him what happened, and Miz concedes he did get pinned. He says he’s awesome, and asks Ben if he knows what its like to be awesome. He says Ben is awesome two Sunday’s in his life, but Miz is awesome every day. He asks for a title match with Kofi, and Ben obliges. The stipulation is if Miz loses he has to announce that he’s the Miz and he’s awful.
Chavo Guerrero & “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters vs. Mark Henry & Montel Vontavious Porter
Chavo explained to Masters that last week was just a misunderstanding, and they’re back on the same page. I’m sure that’s the last we’ll ever hear of that. Masters starts with Henry, and gets overpowered being shoved into the corner. Masters comes back to grabs a side headlock, but runs into a shoulderblock from Henry. Henry goes for a big splash which connects partially, but Henry also injures his knee and is forced to tag out to MVP. MVP gets a distraction from Chavo and that allows Masters to deliver a clothesline. Tag to Chavo who comes in with a European upper cut, and then hits a low dropkick on Mark Henry knocking him from the apron. Chavo charges at MVP, but gets hit with a throw and then a pair of clotheslines. MVP hits a running clothesline, and that sets up the ballin’ elbow. Masters tries to make the save, but MVP moves and Masters elbow drops Chavo instead. Henry chases Masters to the floor, and that allows MVP to cover for the victory at 2:57. After the match Masters attacks Chavo, and locks in the Masterlock. Hornswoggle comes in and makes the save biting Masters in the thigh. Masters goes after Swoggle, but Chavo delivers an MVP to send him packing. Swoggle gives Chavo a DX chop and heads out leaving Chavo…and everyone else…confused.
Winner: Mark Henry & Montel Vontavious Porter (MVP pins Chavo-Ballin’ Elbow *1/4)
-Big Ben is back out, but is immediately interrupted by Jerishow. Big Show’s suit either didn’t come back from the cleaners, or its business casual day at Jerishow Enterprises. Show wants to know why they call him Big Ben, and thinks that big offensive line can’t be as big as him. Jericho chimes in that they’re probably not as big as him either. Ben brings out his linemen, and Show stares them down. Jericho asks if they’re supposed to be intimidated, and then busts out his thesaurus to describe the men. He says this is not a football field, and Big Show and he do not wear helmets. He says Jerishow is the most dominant team in sports, and advises them to huddle up and devise a strategy. The lineman huddle, and then come out in formation. Show lines up against them, but when Roethlisberger calls a QB sneak Show thinks better of it and bails. What you didn’t think the Steelers were going to let these guys do anything remotely physical did you? DX comes out to join the festivities next. Jericho says he should have expected this. A potential Sportscenter moment interrupted by a couple miscreants out here to shill their merchandise. Jericho calls them pathetic, and HHH thanks him for the plug but says they didn’t come out here to do any of that. He just wanted to tell Jericho how nice his hair looks today. Jericho asks really, and HHH says hell no it look ridiculous. HBK says Jericho ran his mouth about all the great teams they’ve faced, but there is one they haven’t faced. Show asks if that is a challenge, and Shawn says he’s got all these injuries from last night but yeah it is a challenge. Show says he thought he was going to say something dumb like that, but advises Shawn go nurse his wounds and live to fight another day. He says they want nothing to do with Jerishow. Jericho says they aren’t worthy enough to face them, but Roethlisberger has other plans and books a match between DX and Jerishow tonight. Afterward the Steelers and DX engage in crotch chops that you will likely see tonight on ESPNEWS in between verbal Favre blow jobs.
WWE United States Championship: Kofi Kingston © vs. The Miz
Kofi sidesteps a Miz charge which sends him to the floor, but he’s right back inside and they go face to face with Miz getting a headbutt. Kofi comes back with a pair of chops, and then a rollup for two. Miz bails to the outside again, and then comes back in to get rolled up for two. Miz hits the ropes, and stops short on a Kofi leapfrog attempt to deliver a clothesline. Miz stomps Kofi, and then chokes him out on the bottom rope. Miz connects with a pair of back elbows, but misses a charge running face first into the top buckle. Kofi comes fighting back, and heads to the top rope. Miz catches him and knocks him all the way to the floor as we head to break. Back from commercial with Miz in control using a reverse chinlock on Kofi. Miz goes for a back suplex, but Kofi reverses coming down on top of Miz for two. Miz is right back with a clothesline, and mounts Kofi with a series of punches. Miz drops a leg on Kofi for a two count, but as he comes off the ropes Kofi hits trouble in paradise out of nowhere. Miz rolls to the floor off of it, and Kofi has to drag him back inside. That delay allows Miz to kick out at two. Miz grabs a small package for a two count, but Kofi is right back with a clothesline. Kofi hits the boom drop, but Miz is able to reach the ropes again at two. Miz rolls to the floor, and then is able to drop Kofi’s throat across the second rope. Kofi hits a backslide for a two count once they end up back inside, and they then trade right hands inside. Kofi delivers a flying forearm, and a spinning heel kick. Kofi goes for a crossbody off the top, but Miz rolls through for two. Kofi is back hitting the SOS for a two count, and then misses an attempt to hop on the top rope causing him to crash to the mat. That allows Miz to hit the skull crushing finale, and that gives him the win and the title at 10:42. So Miz and Morrison both hold the secondary titles on the two main shows. Really good match. Afterward Miz proclaims that he’s awesome. The crowd even chanted along with him.
Winner: NEW WWE United States Champion-The Miz (Pinfall-Skull Crushing Finale ***1/4)
-Hornswoggle is all excited to meet Big Ben, and Santino stops by to ask Ben to do something about all the divas who attacked him earlier. Santino mispronounces his name several hundred times, before Swoggle smacks him. Then he gets it right, but apparently forgets what he was asking because he just leaves.
-Access Hollywood’s Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menounos co-host Raw next week. I’ve never heard of either one of them, but they’re both hot so no complaints here.
The Big Show & Chris Jericho vs. D-Generation X
HHH starts off with Jericho, and they fight over a lockup. Jericho grabs a headlock, and delivers a shoulderblock off the ropes. Jericho hits the ropes again, but this time runs into a hip toss from HHH who tags in Shawn. Shawn is in with a pair of chops, but charges into a boot form Jericho in the corner. Jericho delivers a bodyslam, and then tags in Show. Show tries to corner Shawn in the corner, but Shawn is able to escape and make the tag to HHH as we head to break.
We return and Big Show has HHH in a bear hug. Big Show lets go and tags in Jericho. Jericho goes to work on HHH for a while. HHH finally knocks Jericho down and both guys are down. HHH is finally able to make the hot tag to HBK, who comes in like a machine. He has some fire offense until Jericho stops him in his tracks and then tags in Big Show. Big Show begins to go to work on HBK. A big brawl with all four guys breaks out. The smoke clears and it’s Jericho in the ring by himself with both D-X members. He runs out of the ring and tries leaving the match but the Monday Night Football music hits again and out comes Roesthlisberger and the Steelers offensive line. They stop him and D-X gets him back in the ring. HBK hits Sweet Chin Music on Jericho and HHH pins him for the win.
Winners: D-Generation X
D-X and the Steelers celebrate afterwards.