GCW Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Part 2 Results – April 2, 2022 – Clusterf*ck Battle Royal

Apr 2, 2022

April 2, 2022
Dallas, Texas – Fair Park
Results via Parker Kyln of F4WOnline.com

Quick Match Results

Chris Dickinson defeated Matt Cardona via Pazuzu Bomb (pinfall)
Tony Deppen defeated Biff Busick via Knee Trembler (pinfall)
“Speedball” Mike Bailey defeated Jordan Oliver via Flamingo Driver (pinfall)
Minoru Suzuki defeated EFFY via Gotch Style Piledriver (pinfall)
54-Person Clusterfuck Battle Royal match – Second Gear Crew (Mance Warner, Matthew Justice, & AJ Gray) won via last eliminating Blake Christian

In a pre-recorded video, Joey Janela addressed beating X-Pac last night. He acted all unhinged. He said the fans have stopped praising him and he wants to take things back to how they originally were at Spring Break. Janela will inject himself into the Clusterf*ck match, and when he’s done, the match will be no more.

Matt Cardona vs. Chris Dickinson

Before the match, Cardona and Green called themselves the power couple of wrestling and said “GCW sucks.” Five years ago, Cardona walked out of WrestleMania as Intercontinental Champion, and now he’s in this “piece of sh*t ring.” He should be at the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. It’s not so bad, though, because he gets to have sex with Green every night. In contrast, Dickinson has an old bat as his valet.

Missy gave Dickinson a big ol’ smooch before the match. Early on in the match, a distraction from Missy allowed Dickinson to beat Cardona down in the corner before attempting a cross armbreaker. Cardona escaped and stalled on the outside. Back in, a trip from Green allowed Cardona to hit a lungblower for two.

Cardona led a long extended beatdown. He brought a door into the ring, but Dickinson was able to back body drop him through it. They traded forearms until Dickinson fired up with a flurry of clotheslines. He wanted the swinging DDT, but Green interfered and Cardona hit a spear for two.

Missy got involved again, allowing Dickinson to try for a cradle before a Death Valley driver got two. He went for a powerbomb, but Green stole Missy’s Gucci purse, distracting Dickinson. Cardona hit a low blow and Radio Silence for a near fall.

Green entered the ring but inadvertently hit Cardona with the purse. Dickinson took her out and hit the Pazuzu Bomb on Cardona for the win.

Winner: Chris Dickinson via Pinfall.

Biff Busick vs. Tony Deppen

They performed mat grappling early on. Biff kicked things off with a chop, leading to a back-and-forth. Out on the floor, Biff inadvertently chopped the ring post and Deppen capitalized with a running senton. Biff countered a dive with an uppercut out of midair.

Biff slapped Deppen across the face multiple times, firing up Deppen to hit one of his own. Deppen hit a kick combination and a knee drop for two. Busick came back with chops, a running uppercut, and a German for two.

Deppen was perched on the rope by Biff, but a dive missed and Deppen ran into a chop. He sent Biff to the floor and landed a flip dive. Back in the ring, Deppen hit a top-rope double stomp for a near fall. They then traded strikes once again before Deppen resumed targeting Biff’s injured arm.

Biff collapsed into the ropes to escape a jumping guillotine. They had yet another strike exchange. Biff went for running uppercuts but ran into a snap German and a running knee, giving Deppen the win.

Winner: Tony Deppen via Pinfall.

After the match, Deppen said it was an honor to wrestle in front of everyone. He’s the best independent wrestler out there, and anyone who disagrees “can kiss my ass.”

Jordan Oliver vs. “Speedball” Mike Bailey

Oliver replaced PCO with no reason provided. Even Kevin Gill didn’t seem to know what was going on. PCO wasn’t even mentioned.

Update: During the match, GCW tweeted that PCO was injured at tonight’s Impact show.

They shook hands until Bailey starched Oliver with a pump kick and landed a straight brainbuster. Bailey laid in ground and pound and a jumping double knees. They traded chops until Oliver flapjacked Bailey and took him out with a suicide dive. Bailey returned fire with a flying kick.

Out on the floor, Bailey continued to lay in strikes. Back inside, Bailey kept up the attack with a mid kick and diving knees for two. He laid in more mid kicks and a face wash boot for another two. Oliver fired up after a forearm and slapped Bailey across the face, leading to a back-and-forth slugfest.

Oliver ducked a high kick and landed one of his own but couldn’t capitalize. Another high kick and a German followed by a powerbomb got a near fall. Bailey returned fire with a step-up moonsault to the floor and an apron moonsault knee strike.

Back in the ring, Oliver avoided a dive and hit an outside-in cutter. Bailey hit his rapid fire kicks but ran into a Spanish Fly. Bailey countered a powerbomb and cradled Oliver for two. He followed it with a buzzsaw kick for two more.

Oliver turned a shooting star press into a cutter, then hit the Clout Cutter for a good near fall. Bailey avoided another dive and hit a cyclone kick before nailing the Flamingo Driver for the win.

Winner: “Speedball” Mike Bailey via Pinfall.

Minoru Suzuki vs. EFFY

Effy wanted a smooch from Suzuki. Suzuki backed off, but invited one himself before slapping Effy across the face. Effy blocked another shot and slapped Suzuki himself. Suzuki beat Effy down outside the ring, but Effy ended up inviting more punishment, which didn’t work out for him.

Back in the ring, Suzuki continued to dismantle Effy. Effy came back with some submissions across the ropes. Suzuki shrugged off more shots and downed Effy with one forearm. He locked on the rear naked choke and went for the Gotch-style piledriver, but Effy fought out and rolled Suzuki up. He attacked Suzuki’s nipples and hit a Northern Lights suplex bridge for two.

Effy finally got his kiss on Suzuki, which stunned the legend. Suzuki came back with the choke, a hard slap, and the Gotch piledriver for the win.

Winner: Minoru Suzuki via Pinfall.

Clusterfuck Battle Royal

Participants enter at random. Elimination can occur by (1) pinfall, (2) submission, (3) over the top rope, (4) leaving the building, or (5) death. Bear with me, as I will do my best to keep up with all entrants and eliminations.

Joey Janela was entrant #1 and Buff Bagwell was entrant #2. Buff came out in a crutch and leg brace. Janela acted like he wanted to celebrate with Buff but immediately superkicked him for the pinfall. George Gatton was #3 and was immediately piledriven by Janela for another quick elimination. “Judas” Judd Cassidy was #4 and was tossed over the top rope for another elimination.

Yoya was #5, and he was the first guy to get some offense in on Janela with a Spanish fly and a strike combination. Janela leveled him with a lariat and hit a package piledriver for the pin. #6 was Billie Starkz, who hit a Gory bomb, but Janela got his knees up on a senton bomb and dumped her over the top rope. Juicy Finau was #7. Janela went right after the big man and called for a brainbuster, but Juicy hit one of his own.

Sam Stackhouse was #8. The two behemoths faced off, then worked together to biel and splash Janela. Janela avoided a moonsault from Stackhouse, then eliminated both Stackhouse and Juicy. Rhett Titus was #9, fresh off losing the ROH Television Championship. He and Janela actually performed some wrestling, which was a first, with Titus hitting a nice monkey flip.

The Invisible Man was #10, and he and Titus traded strikes. Invisible Man tried to eliminated Janela and almost did, but Janela fought back and he and Titus worked together. Invisible Man low blowed both Janela and Titus before eliminating the latter. Dante Leon was #11, hitting Janela with a twisting cutter right away.

Ninja Mack was #12. He and Leon teed off on each other before hitting simultaneous thrust kicks on Janela. Leon hit a shooting star into a destroyer, but then Mack came back with a cyclone kick. Jimmy Lloyd was #13. Lloyd acted like he was sick to his stomach, so he and Janela put on masks. They performed a redux of their “social distancing” match where they fought without touching each other. Janela skinned the cat to save himself, but Lloyd hit a destroyer. Mack hit a Sasuke Special but was piledriven by Lloyd for the elimination. I don’t know why jumping over the top rope to the floor wasn’t an elimination there, but I’m obviously over-thinking things.

#14 was Early Morning Guy Steel, who struggled to enter the ring. Janela and Lloyd beat him down, but Steele hit a double blockbuster and two destroyers and a 450 splash. Janela then rolled him up for the elimination. Blake Christian was #15, taking out everyone with a flurry of offense. The Invisible Man cut him off but was met with a dropkick. #16 was Kevin Blackwood, who laid in chops on Janela.

Hoodfoot was #17. He and Blackwood traded strikes before Hoodfoot took Blackwood down with a shoulder block. #18 was Slade, then #19 and #20 were Charlie Tiger and Ellis Taylor of Young Dumb and Broke, who ran wild on everyone. Deranged was #21, and he battled with Blackwood, before #22 was Grim Reefer. Reefer sparked up a joint and passed it around. Janela said he was no longer signed to AEW so he’s good to smoke it.

Sandra Moon was #23. She didn’t want to partake, so Reefer clotheslined her. #24 was Parrow, who hit a fire thunder driver on Deranged to eliminate him before dumping Reefer. Big Vin was #25 and he eliminated Parrow. Spyder Nate Webb, winner of the last Clusterf*ck, was #26.

Inside the ring, the Invisible Man took out Lloyd before hitting ten punches on Webb. Janela eliminated the Invisible Man, Webb, and Hoodfoot. Shazza McKenzie was #27. She hit a nice suplex but was taken out with a Death Valley driver. Janela set up a door but was put through it with a spear from McKenzie. Janai Kai was #28, and she faced off with McKenzie before Jazzy Yang was #29.

Edith Surreal was #30, and with Moon re-entering, there were five women in the ring. Dark Sheik at #31 and LuFisto at #32 made it seven women. It finally broke down as Leon, Taylor, Tiger, and Big Vin were eliminated. Kai eliminated LuFisto. Sheik eliminated Moon and McKenzie eliminated Kai. Janela eliminated McKenzie.

Maven was #33 and he dropkicked everyone before leaving the building. Our own Denise Salcedo introduced “Paywall Jesus” Sean Ross Sapp at #34. The fans responded with a “We want Meltzer!” chant. SRS said he just got back from the ROH show run by Tony Khan, who pays more than GCW. He demanded everyone pay for Fightful Select so they can read about GCW wrestlers getting fired by AEW.

Josh Barnett was #35. Denise came in and low-blowed SRS before eliminating him. Prazak on commentary said he’d check F4W’s report from now on, haha.

Next was Nasty Leroy at #36, then Jimmy Wang Yang at #37. Jimmy and Barnett had a wacky exchange, then Jimmy’s daughter Jazzy took down Barnett. Barnett kindly coached Jazzy on the submission, then inadvertently tapped to get eliminated. Jazzy then eliminated Lloyd with a cutter.

Alec Price was in at #38 and he eliminated Jimmy. Jazzy tried to get revenge, but Price eliminated her too. #39 was Cole Radrick. He and Price fought on the apron and eliminated each other. Brandon Kirk was #40 and he piledrove Sheik. It was announced that Slade left the building to check in with his parole officer, meaning he’s eliminated.

Janela ran the ropes for a while just for fun. #41 was Lord Adrean, one of the viral Walmart dudes. He spiked Kirk with a spinning tombstone, pinning him. Janela then eliminated Adrean with a DVD. Kevin Matthews was #42. Leroy hit him with a Rock Bottom and a People’s Elbow before locking him in the Sharpshooter for the submission. Janela then low-blowed Leroy for the elimination.

Nick Wayne was #43, and he was able to eliminate Janela after the latter’s unprecedented run of dominance. Entrants #44-49 were Team LA Fights, which included B-Boy, Jack Cartwheel, Jai Vidal, Damien Drake, Hunter Freeman, and Matt Vandagriff. They worked together to eliminate Blackwood.

The final entrants (#50-54, to be specific) were the Second Gear Crew: Mance Warner, Matthew Justice, AJ Gray, 1 Called Manders, and Levi Everett. They took out everyone with chair shots and eliminated all of LA Fights. Cartwheel almost saved himself with a handstand but was crushed with a chair shot. Sheik dove onto everyone as Wayne and Christian worked together to eliminate Manders and Everett.

Christian eliminated Wayne with a DDT. SGC worked together to eliminate Sheik. Christian was alone in there against Gray, Justice, and Warner. He fought them off with kicks and dives but was leveled with simultaneous lariats from Gray and Justice. Christian was then hit by a superplex leg drop splash combination for the elimination.

Gray, Justice, and Warner were the co-winners of the Clusterf*ck.

Winner: Mance Warner, Matthew Justice, & AJ Gray.