TNA iMPACT! Results (5/3) – Sting-Hogan, Flair, & More!

Event: TNA Monday Night iMPACT!
Airdate: Monday, May 3rd, 2010 (SpikeTV)
Location: Universal Studios Soundstage 21 in Orlando, FL
Results by 411 Mania

Tonight, The Motor City Machine Guns face off against Beer Money. All of the Knockouts gold is on the line as The Beautiful People face Taylor Wilde, Sarita and Tara. Orlando Jordan will debut his new show, the O-Zone, with special guest Rob Terry. Hulk Hogan wants answers from Sting, and we’re gonna find out who will get the HOF ring. All this and more as we build up to Sacrifice.

Video package to kick us off, highlighting the events of last week.

Hogan/Sting – The Summit

Hogan and Bischoff in a limo. Hogan says all the big fish are crossing the pond. He says he’s gotta call Sting out.

Tenay tells runs down the card and events of tonight. Will Hogan solve the mystery behind Sting’s actions. Huge news, as TNA President Dixie Carter has announced that TNA is listening to the fans and that they’re moving back to Thursday nights. He says that like they’re proud of it. TNA Reaction will now become a weekly program, taking place before action. Sting told Taz before the show that he’ll break his silence. And here comes the Nature Boy.

But it’s not Flair, it’s Jay Lethal. And he’s got the HOF ring on his finger. Lethal gives us some “WOOS”! He’s imitating Flair now. He says he couldn’t wait for Hogan to give him the ring. He’s the 16 time, 16, 16, 16 time World Champion. He tells one of the fans to shut up. He then does the Flair run into the ropes and drops to the mat. “To be the man, you’ve got to beat the man”. And here comes the real Naitch.

Lethal says he’s got some nice glasses. Flair asks him if he knows where he is. He’s standing in front of God. Flair says he’s disrespected him. Lethal says he meant no disrespect. Lethal tells Flair to calm down and to take the ring, and that he’s deserved it. He says he just always wanted to be the Nature Boy, even if for only two minutes, and that Flair is The Man. He says he’s gonna get this footage, frame it, and hang it on his wall, because this is the greatest moment of his life. In Elizabeth, New Jersey, there’s a woman who has a tear in her eye because she knows her little boy made it now that he’s in the ring with the Nature Boy. Ric thanks him for the ring, and then slaps him. Lethal says no as Flair takes off his shirt. Flair is now shouting at Lethal, saying he is wrestling. The greatest moment of his life ended up being the saddest second of his life. Lethal slaps Flair and starts chopping him in the corner. Back drop by Lethal, and he locks in the Figure Four. Here comes Beer Money, AJ Styles and Desmond Wolfe. They’re all beating down Lethal now. Flair now taking his shots, and he hits him with the knucks. Here comes The Monster, and he’s taking out all of the heels. The numbers game proved to be too much for him though, as the heels are now working all of them down. Here comes Team 3D now, and the numbers game is now even as Flair looks on. And here comes the champ, RVD. He’s got a chair. All of the heels bail out now.

Hogan and Bischoff back in the limo now, saying they’re not far. Hogan tells the driver to turn around after hearing about the news with Lethal.

All of the faces are in the ring now as the heels stand on the entrance ramp. We get a recap of Lethal’s awesome Flair impersonation, and then the beatdown that followed.

RVD’s got the mic, and he says instead of everyone beating on macho dude, you four horses asses get down to the ring and have a fight. Flair says if they want more, they’ve got it. The heels charge the ring, and here we go. A massive brawl ensues and the faces are in control. Brother Ray looks to suplex Flair on the ramp, but Roode hits him with a forearm. Flair with the chops to Lethal on the ramp before stomping him in the nuts. And here comes the Hulkster. he hits Roode with a shot, and then Desmond. Storm, Flair and Styles in the ring as Hogan takes Storm down, and then AJ. Flair hits Hogan with some chops, but Hogan no sells it and send Flair to the outside as we cut to commercial.

We’re back now and it’s madness as everyone’s beating down each other as security tries to break it up. Hogan says since they beat the man, he can quote the man. TNA is the best thing going brother. I guess that’s why they’re moving back to Thursdays. The TNA fans want action brother. Desmond Wolfe, since he wants action brother, he’s got it brother. He’s facing RVD for the title tonight brother. AJ is gonna face Abyss in a Monster’s Ball match brother. The match between Beer Money and The Motor City Machine Guns has been changed, as Team 3D has been added to it.

And we now see Sting up in the rafters. They hype the Hogan/Sting interaction later tonight as we cut to commercial.

And we see The Beautiful People backstage. Lacey says she wears her belt to bed, thinking she wasn’t supposed to take it off. Madison questions there match later tonight. Velvet says they can’t pin them. Madison says the titles are staying right where they are.

Doug Williams (who still has the belt, BTW) has a mic, saying that due to travel conditions out of his control, he was stripped of his title. Half of the world is on shut down, and he’s punished. It’s just not right. And to add insult to injury, he’s in some ridiculous tag match, with this crazed lunatic. He says Kaz has been prancing around, pretending to be the real champ. In order to become the champ, he has to beat him at Sacrifice. And here comes Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal.

Match 1 : Brian Kendrick and Doug Williams vs Jesse Neal and Shannon Moore
Appartently they’re being placed together due to their look, and not due to similar or well blending wrestling styles. What has the world come to?

Williams and Neal start off. Williams rolls out of a hammerlock and takes Neal down. Elbow in the corner and a springboard crossbody by Neal. T-Bone suplex to Neal as Matt Morgan joins commentary. Kendrick with forearms and is now riding Neal. Williams back in now and slams Neal down. He drops multiple knees to the throat before going for the cover, but only gets two. Williams throws Neal’s leg into the ropes and kicks it. Moore gets the tag and hits Kendrick with a crossbody off the top. Reverse atomic drop followed by a leg lariat. Cover but only two. Morgan says TNA Management has seven days to find him a partner. Moore with diving spinning neckbreaker. Neal gets the tag and spears Kendrick for the win.

Winner : Jesse Neal and Shannon Moore – It got Williams back on TV, got Kendrick a match, and put over the team of Neal and Moore. I’m not sure how Neal and Moore are going to fare in the tag division, but it could be interesting to see. As for the match, it was really just there.

Williams slaps Kendrick in the face, and here comes Samoa Joe. Joe clotheslines Williams and then superkicks Kendrick. He throws Kendrick back in to the ring and hits him with a knee in the corner. MUSCLE BUSTER!!! Joe’s really going back to his old routes, and I’m loving it.

Joe’s got a mic now, but throws it to the mat. Apparently he doesn’t have anything to say. Again, reminiscent of the old Joe, and I’m loving it.

JB’s with the naitch, but he says he’s not in the mood. He starts yelling at AJ, asking him what he’s going to do tonight. He’s AJ Styles, the face of TNA> He tells Beer Money that they’re zeroed out. Flair needs respect. Beer Money says they’re the best. They need to prove it. Flair tells Wolfe that RVD will tear him up if he doesn’t get it together. They need to make it happen tonight, or they will be replaced.

Hogan says nothings been easy for the past two years. He says when he came to TNA, he’s got problem after problem. He wants to know why Sting’s done what he’s done. He says he’s over it. He’s going to get in his face. That served no purpose.

Taz and Tenay hype the confrontation some more. Tenay says it’s time we hear from Sting. For the fans, Dixie and the wrestlers deserve an explanation. They run down the rest of the card. They said since Wolfe had the most votes online, he’s got the title shot. Jeff Hardy’s gonna be live in the Impact Zone at the top of the hour.

Backstage now as Mr. Anderson’s beating down The Pope. Anderson calls him a tough guy and rams an object into him multiple times. He asks him what has he done. he then puts one his own black sunglasses. He did all of this while wearing a white robe, for those of you who thinks that might imply something.

MRRRRRR!!! And yes, Mr. Anderson is wearing a white robe with black sunglasses. He comes down with his hands clapped together. And he calls for the microphone. Ladies and Gentlemen, the congregation, do not judge him for his beautiful attire. He’s stands before us at a loss for words. You see, he had a tremendous sermon prepared for us, but he had an epiphany. For unforeseen reasons, The Pope will be unable to join them. Mr. Anderson has realized that when he dies, he will not go to heaven, but that he’ll burn in hell. And that brings out Jeff Hardy.

Jeff’s got his own mic and says the congregation and the creatures of the night are one of the same. Since his good friend The Pope won’t be able to compete at Sacrifice because of Anderson, he needs a match at Sacrifice against Anderson. He then flicks him in the face. Anderson thinks he can come here in his ring and challenge him to a match with him not accepting. He asks him if he doubts him, but says nah. He’s got something going on that night. Any other night, but not that one. He grows tired of Jeff, along with the people. He goes for a cheap shot on Hardy, but Hardy ducks and hist the Twist of Fate. He then takes off his robe. Jeff Hardy then does the creepiest voice ever, imitating Anderson, saying that he would love to face Hardy at Sacrifice. Apparently in the world of TNA, that’s good enough to make an official match.

We’re now over an hour into the show, and are only starting the second match.

Match 2 : The Beautiful People(C) vs Tara, Taylor Wilde and Sarita
Tara and Lacey start things off. Tara with a snap suplex into a guillotine float over. Back up now, as Lacey ducks a clothesline and hits a spin kick to the gut. Sarita now in, and so is Velvet. Velvet attacks Sarita from behind. Sarita with the boots in the corner and hits a flapjack. Cover but only two. Taylor’s got the tag now as they hit the flipping back suplex splash combination. Velvet grabs Taylor by the hair and slams her into the mat. Madison now in but gets hit with a german suplex. Tara gets the tag now, but Sarita tags herself in. Tara hits Sarita, knocking her off the apron. Tara attacks Taylor from behind. Sarita runs in and gets hit with a sick double team DDT. Madison for the cover and the win.

Winner: The Beautiful People – There wasn’t really much to the match, but it helped but Tara over as a heel, so it did serve a purpose.

Christy in the back with Tara now. Tara says she has busted her butt to be there, and hasn’t got any respect. She challenged Madison for the belt at Sacrifice. Christy asks her how she’s going to convince TNA management for a title shot. She says she’s will to put her freakin’ career on the line.

Match 3 : Beer Money vs Team 3D vs The Motor City Machine Guns – Three Way Tag Team match
No entrance for Beer Money or MCMG, so what does that tell you. Roode and Sabin to start things out. Roode with some clubbing blows, Sabin floats over Roode in the corner, ducks a clothesline and hits a leg lariat. Roode tags in Storm now, but Shelley gets the tag. Reverse atomic drop, Shelley flips over grabbing the face and Sabin hits the dropkick. Pin but only two. Shelley counters a suplex, but Devon gets the tag. Devon with some rights to Storm in the corner. Roode with a knee to the back of Devon allowing Storm to hit a codebreaker. Double team suplex by Roode and Storm. BEER! MONEY! Cover by Storm but Shelley breaks it up. Roode now gets the tag. Devon avoids Storm in the corner and hits Roode with a clothesline. Hot tag to Brother Ray, and he takes it to both of Beer Money. Boot to Storm, and a backdrop to Roode. Big elbow to Storm, and a slam to Roode. WAZZZUPP!!!! What goes up, must come down. Here comes The Band, and they start to brawl with Team 3D. This one ends in a DQ.

Winner : Team 3D (via disqulification) – The match wasn’t anything special, which seems to be the trend of the night, as it was more of putting over an angle. EY turning doesn’t really make any sense, but I’m willing to see where this one goes. Also, any day where the Guns take out The Band is a good day.

The Guns just stand there on the apron watching. Here comes Eric Young, and he’s got a kendo stick. He clocks Brother Ray with it, and takes out Devon. The Guns nare now in and they throw Young to the outside. Shelley ducks a right hand and hit a reverse STO, dropkick combo. Sabin with a dropkick to Nash. Roode hits Sabin with a dropkick, and they hit the DWI on Shelley.

And here was are with the O-Zone.Orlando Jordan comes out, wearing something really weird. He’s got a couch and a mic. He welcomes us to the O-Zone, where anything can happen. This is really weird. He says we might think he has some freak in him, but his first guest tonight is the freak. He welcomes out Rob Terry. A curtain lifts up, revealing a cutout of Terry. He says he thought he had the perfect body, but that Rob’s abs are amazing. Taz asks how long this is gonna go. Jordan asks him what kind of fantasies does a freak have. He says he’s honored, and that he fantasizes about him. And here comes the real Rob Terry. He rips the cutout apart. He tells Jordan not to make him come back. Jordan attacks him from behind. He then starts choking him with the chain, and that he does what he wants to, acts how he wants to, and says what he wants to. He picks up one of the set pieces and drops it on Terry.

Up next, AJ Styles vs Abyss.

AJ Styles vs Abyss – Monster’s Ball match
I miss the old days of Monster’s Ball, where the competing wrestlers were kept in a cage, deprived of food for 24 hours. Abyss comes out, and he’s got the weapons.

AJ hits him with a forearm, and looks for a springboard on the ramp, but gets caught. AJ counters out and throws the trash can at Abyss. AJ charges Abyss but gets backdropped into the ring. Tenay talks about how they were both tag champs at one point. Love long term continuity. AJ goes for a chair shot, but Abyss ducks and hits AJ with a boot. He’s got a crutch, but AJ kicks it out of his hand. AJ ducks a chair shot but gets a punch to the face. AJ ducks another shot and hits the pele. He then dropkicks Abyss,sending The Monster into the corner. AJ hits him with some forearms, but gets launched into the air, crashing down onto his gut. AJ avoids Abyss in the corner. AJ tries to float over Abyss in the corner, but Abyss counters and throws his head into the chair. Shock Treatment connects, but only gets two on the pin. Abyss now grabs the bag of tacks. He spreads them out in the center of the ring. Flair and Chelsea come down to the ring. Flair tells Chelsea to take her coat off so she can distract Abyss. Abyss grabs her to keep her from doing that. AJ hits Abyss in the back with the chair. AJ gets elevated onto the ramp. Flair gives him the knucks, and AJ hits him with it. Springboard crossbody onto the tacks, and that’s enough for the win.

Winner: AJ Styles – Solid hardcore outing for what it was. These two rarely disappoint, especially when given weapons. They crammed in as much as they could for the short amount of time they were given.

And we’re back, and get ready for the main event, as…
Match 5 : Desmond Wolfe vs Rob Van Dam(C) – TNA World Heavyweight Championship

Wolfe dropkicks him as he tries to get in the ring, and then throws him into the ring post. Back in the ring now as Wolfe is whocking Rob. He charges Rob in the corner and hits the european uppercut. Rob rolls at Wolfe, but Wolfe counters, kicking Rob in the back and then clotheslining him. Wolfe counters and irish whip and hits the hammerlock/leg sweep combo. Pin but only two. Rob to the top and hits a huge thrust kick. Rolling Thunder connects. Rob to the top, but Wolfe back up and runs into the ropes, causing Rob to lose his balance. Rob tries to block the Tower of London, so Wolfe tries to hit it on the apron now. Springboard back kick by Rob on the entrance ramp off the counter. Wolfe charges Rob and gets backdropped into the ring. Five Star Frog Splash connects, and that’s the match. Seriously?

Winner : Rob Van Dam – When your main event, and the world title match, gets less than 5 minutes, you know you’re doing something wrong. These two got practically no time, and they crammed in as much as they could into the short amount of time they were given. Even though, I’m not gonna stand for this. This is ridiculous.

Here comes AJ, as he hits the champ with a flying forearm. He’s now beating down Rob with the punches. He’s cashing in on his rematch clause at Sacrifice.

Backstage now as Jarrett is down. Hogan asks who did it, and he says it was Sting. God this is stupid.

Sting-Hogan showdown to end the show is next!

And here comes the Hulkster, brother. He says when he talked about change in TNA, that the person who he counted on the most would be the one to change. He calls out Sting. And here he comes. Hogan says that you can fool some of the people some of the time, but he’s been around here too long to be fooled. He wants to know what makes Sting tick. Sting says he can’t wait to tell him what makes him tick. It’s TNA. You and the rest of the world, Stinger. He says his agenda has always been the same, and that is to give back to the sport of wrestling. Especially to TNA. When he thinks about all of those years that he was at the WWF, he had protection. In WCW, he saw firsthand the protection he had. Here in TNA, he has no protection. Hogan says it’s not about TNA and Sting, it’s about TNA and Hogan. Maybe you can’t go around and choke the life out of the company. He says Sting still has blood on his hands, after beating down Jeff Jarrett. Sting laughs. Sting asks Hogan if he wants to play games, and that it’s his move. Hogan tells him to take a shot. Sting puts the bat to Hogan’s chin, but here comes Jarrett. Jarrett hits Sting with the bat. Hogan stops Sting, and we’re out brother.

Backstage fight at TNA iMPACT! – Sean Waltman involved!