WWE RAW Results (3/2/2009) – Edge vs. Cena, Orton/HHH

WWE RAW Results (3/2) – Edge vs. Cena, Orton/HHH

Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, March 2nd, 2009 (USA Network)
Location: The TD Banknorth Garden in Boston, Mass.
Results by 411Mania.com

“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”

-Live from TD Banknorth Garden in Boston, MA

-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

-We open up with a recap of the chase that closed last weeks show. Of course the WWE production staff once again shows that they are in fact capable of turning chicken shit into chicken salad by making it look about 100 times better than it really was.

-Jerry Lawler is in the ring to make a huge announcement regarding the World Championship. Lawler states it’s the biggest announcement he’s ever made on Raw. Lawler states that tonight there will be a World Heavyweight Championship match tonight between Edge and John Cena.

-From there we go to Piper’s Pit hosted by Chris Jericho. We even have the old school circa 1984 Piper’s Pit set for the show. Jericho says he wasn’t planning on doing this today, but he’s been berated by the hypocrites for disrespecting the legends that he’s procured the original Piper’s Pit and he will host the show himself. He states of all the famous incidents the most famous was the one he shows on the tron. It is of course Piper breaking a coconut of Jimmy Snuka’s head. Jericho then introduces his guest Superfly Jimmy Snuka. Jericho states it was some classic footage that led to classic matches between Snuka and Piper and then introduces some classic footage of Piper vs. Snuka. Jericho says they looked pretty good back in those days. Jericho says Snuka is a grim reminder of what can happen. He calls Snuka the poster boy for what “The Wrestler” is all about. Jericho says Snuka is in his 60’s but still embarrasses himself every weekend at indy shows in New Jersey. Jericho states that many deserving superstars were not allowed in the Rumble because Snuka and Piper stole spots in 2008. Jericho says whatever few functioning brain cells were left in his broken down body had to hear the roar of the hypocrites one more time. Jericho says that’s the problem with all the legends, that they’re sick in the head. They’re too occupied with their egos to let it go. Jericho says its time for Snuka to pack it in. He says he brought Snuka out to show all the superstars what can happen if they’re not careful. He says they’ll end up like him a pathetic disgrace. Snuka stands up to get, and Jericho continues saying he doesn’t have a right to be angry. He calls Snuka finished. He tells him no one wants to see him anymore, so he should go home and stay home. Jericho asks him if he doesn’t understand, and Snuka screams that no he doesn’t understand. Jericho says if he doesn’t understand he can remind him of old school. Jericho breaks out the bananas and a pineapple for old times sake. Then he pulls out a coconut, and asks Snuka if he wants to relive his past. Jericho throws the coconut in the air, but Snuka manages to snatch it from him. Jericho begs him not to disgrace himself and says he made his point then runs out the back. Snuka poses for the fans, so naturally that allows Jericho to attack from behind pushing the set down on top of him. Jericho takes his belt off on whips Snuka with it screaming, “Live in the past!” He shoves a banana down Snuka’s mouth and again screams at him to go home. Not as strong as the previous legends segments due to Jimmy not really speaking, but Jericho was still strong and got crazy heat from the crowd. They need to pay this off soon so we actually start building towards the inevitable Mania match, whatever it might be.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Triple Threat Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox vs. Kane
Rey slides out and Knox follows him. Rey runs inside into Kane. Kane whips Rey into the ropes and he delivers a baseball slide to Knox. Rey goes for the hurracanrana off the second rope, but Kane catches him. Rey punches him down into a seated senton. Knox comes in and fires Rey to the floor leaving him in the ring with Kane. Upper cut to Knox is followed by an Irish whip. Kane charges into an elbow from Knox, then they both put each other down with a big boot. And with that we head to commercial. Back from break and Knox has Rey held in a backbreaker submission hold across his knee. Rey kicks out of that, and hits the ropes ducking a boot. He hits the ropes again, but gets yanked outside by Kane. Knox meets Kane coming in and drives him into the corner. Avalanche in the corner connects for Knox, and a snap mare sets up a side headlock from there. Kane quickly counters out of that into a side suplex. Kane hits the ropes, but runs into a big boot from Knox. Knox goes to bring Rey in, but gets fought off with shoulderblocks. A bulldog follows springboard hurracanrana from Rey for two. Dropkick connects to Kane, but Rey then runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Knox for two. Rey counters a powerslam attempt with a DDT, but Kane breaks up the cover. Hurracanrana to Kane sending him face first into the corner. Knox throws Kane out of the corner, but he falls into Kane. Hurracanrana sets Knox up for the 619, but he runs into a chokeslam attempt from Kane. Rey counters that into another hurracanrana, which sets Kane up for the 619, which this time connects. Springboard seated senton looks to finish, but Knox breaks up the count with the big boot. Knox delivers a roll of the dice to Rey, but turns into a chokeslam from Kane, which finishes. Kane qualifies for Money in the Bank in what I would term an upset at 8:17. Kane delivers a chokeslam to Rey for good measure and stares up at the briefcase.
Winner: Kane (Pinfall on Knox-Chokeslam **1/2)

-Todd Grisham is with Shawn Michaels. Shawn says that he doesn’t need to be reminded of Kozlov’s accomplishments. He says the last year has been the most traumatic of his career, but every obstacle has been overcome. He brings up that 11 years in this very building he headlined Wrestlemania with a broken back, and career over. Since he came back he has gone to Wrestlemania and stolen the show every single time. He promises that tonight he will end Kozlov’s undefeated streak, and at Wrestlemania he will end Taker’s.

Mickie James & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall (w. Rosa Mendez & Santino Marella)
Both ladies Champions Maryse & Melina join Cole and Lawler on commentary. Interesting. Beth starts with Kelly and powers her into the corner. Kelly hits the ropes and delivers a tilt-a-whirl hurracanrana. She goes for another rana but gets caught and thrown into the corner. Jillian and Beth double team Kelly in the corner before Jillian tags in. Jillian is in and goes to the hair pulling. Kelly kicks off and tags in Mickie. Jillian charges into an elbow, but comes back with a forearm. Jillian flips into Mickie’s boots, which sets Mickie to come off the top with a Thesz press. Mickie tags Kelly who comes in with a sunset flip which finishes at 2:39. Rosa attacks which leads to a big diva brawl in the ring. Melina tries to get into the fray, but Maryse yanks her off the apron and delivers a DDT on the floor. Melina was wearing this tiny little mini-skirt which kept coming off. She kept trying to pull it down but her ass was out and exposed. Fuck she’s hot. This was odd; it appears that this was just a vehicle to start a program between Maryse and Melina.
Winners: Mickie James & Kelly Kelly (Kelly pins Beth-Sunset Flip ¼*)

-Same recap of the Orton-HHH events that led off the show is shown again.

-Randy Orton and Legacy are out and in the biggest upset of the night they’re wearing pants. Accompanying Orton in addition to Legacy are his team of lawyers and armed security. Orton states that he is entitled to a title match at Wrestlemania since he won the Royal Rumble. Orton says he is officially challenging the winner of tonight’s Edge-Cena match. Orton says he’s not challenging HHH because HHH isn’t going to Wrestlemania, but rather he’s going to jail. Orton says he is pressing charges against HHH for assault with a deadly weapon. Orton says he wanted to handle their issues like grown men, but HHH used a concealed sledgehammer with excess force against both Dibiase and Rhodes. Orton states if he had not escaped he could have ended his career or his life. Orton tells HHH its time to face the music, and says if HHH has anything to say he needs to come out and say it. HHH says very soon he will going away for a very long time. That brings out Triple H accompanied by sledgie. HHH says Orton’s doctors and lawyers say he has a disease called IED. HHH says he is in complete control of his, and heads to the ring. The armed security threatens, so HHH drops his sledgehammer and offers to be patted down. HHH tells Orton they all tell him what he wants hear, but he’s going to tell him what he needs to hear. Orton says he knows all about it, that he attacked a 63 year old man and an innocent woman, but HHH says its not about them its about him. HHH says Orton wants and needs this story to end. He tells Orton he took out the entire McMahon family, and now he needs to go to Wrestlemania and defeat him for the WWE Title. He needs it to avenge the moment that defines his life. HHH says its about Evolution. He says he watched Orton become the youngest Champion in history, and then asks Orton what happened the next night. He reminds him that he turned on him and beat the hell out of him. HHH asks how long he held the title for? Trips says he doesn’t run from his past, and he’s not a good person. He says he wasn’t happy for Orton’s success. He made a conscious decision and took what was his, and now Orton has the same opportunity. He says Orton has an opportunity to avenge that night, and do it on the grandest stage. He can put all of it behind him, but instead he makes a conscious choice to run. He asks Orton why is that, and then answers for him that he’s afraid. HHH says Orton has been afraid his entire life, and he knows deep down inside that he doesn’t have what it takes. He tells Orton he can stand in the ring and hide behind his lawyers and security and talk tough, but he knows the truth. He’s that same kid that was carrying his bags around in Evolution. He says he’s that same little boy with all the talent in the world, but ultimately gutless. Orton’s lawyer says his client has nothing more to say to him, and unless he willingly removes himself security will do it for him. The security starts to take Triple H away, but Orton stops them. Orton says he thinks he’s changed his mind. He says he won’t be facing Edge or Cena, but will face Triple H. Under one conditon. Orton tells him they will settle this at Wrestlemania, and not before. Orton tells him he can’t touch him before Wrestlemania unless he’s physically provoked. He asks Trips if that’s a deal, and Hunter accepts. As HHH leaves Orton stops him and lets him know that if he wants to get personal, he wants him to know that it felt great to kick the old man in the skull, and it felt even better when he did the same thing to Shane, but when he hit that RKO on Steph he replays it over and over and over in his head. He says he can still smell her scent. Her skin so soft. At least that’s what he’s remembers. He wonders what Stephanie remembers? That brings HHH back into the ring for a nose to nose, but he stops short of physical contact. HHH tells him the last time they faced off he broke his collarbone, but that was just business. This is personal. This time he’s gonna break his neck. That couldn’t have been any better done. Absolutely phenomenal promo. Everything that needed to happen did. Now its all on the table and we have the most multi-faceted feud in a long damn time.

Winner faces The Undertaker at Wrestlemania: Shawn Michaels vs. Vladimir Kozlov
A little cat and mouse to start with Shawn evading Kozlov. Eventually he gets stuck in the corner with a series of Shoulderblocks. Shawn comes off the ropes with a sunset flip attempt but Kozlov stops that with a bearhug. Shawn smacks his way out of that and hits the ropes with a dropkick. He locks in a figure four on the Russian, but Kozlov turns it over immediately. He goes for the chokeslam, but Shawn is able to counter and bail to the floor as we head to break. Back from commercial and Kozlov remains in control with the shoulderblocks. He charges into a boot and Shawn delivers a chop. Kozlov reverses an Irish Whip and Shawn hits the corner. He places Shawn horizontally across the top rope and delivers headbutts to the back. Running powerslam connects for two. Kozlov hands out a pair of backbreakers, and then slaps on a torture rack. Shawn is able to punch free of the rack, and hits the ropes running into a back elbow from Kozlov. That picks up a two count so Vlad mounts Shawn for some strikes. Kozlov locks on another bearhug, but Shawn punches free. Shawn hands out a couple of chops, and goes for the flying forearm, but runs into the battering ram headbutt. Only a two count off that, so Kozlov throws Shawn into the corner and chokes some more with the boot. He straddles Shawn on the top rope, and goes for a belly to belly but Shawn fights him off with a series of punches. He finally shoves Kozlov back to the mat, and delivers the top rope elbow drop. Sweet chin music finishes off the Russian at 10:08 and sets up the dream match at Wrestlemania. Kozlov’s “undefeated” streak is over, as Shawn will head to Mania as the streak breaker. Kozlov controlled virtually the entire match, which isn’t a good thing, but we got the right result so I can’t complain.
Winner: Shawn Michaels (Pinfall-Sweet Chin Music *1/2)

-Afterwards Taker comes out and stares down Shawn from the ramp.

-More 12 Rounds hype

-Cowboy Bill Watts is introduced as the latest inductee of the WWE Hall of Fame. Jim Ross, who Watts mentored, will serve as inductor. Hopefully this means Vince acquired the Mid-South/UWF tape library.

-Edge is with Todd Grisham. Grisham questions Edge’s motive giving him the match after being knocked on Smackdown against Big Show. Edge says since No Way Out Cena has been begging for a rematch, but now he’s the bad guy. Edge says he always wanted the match in Boston because he wants to beat Cena in his own hometown. He promises that he will again tell him that the World Title is his.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge © vs. John Cena
Cena grabs a side headlock takeover at the oustet, but Edge pushes into the ropes and reverses. Edge takes him over to his back. Cena pushes off into the ropes, but a backdrop attempt fails and a kick to the face results. Edge charges at Cena, but Cena pulls down the ropes and Edge flies to the floor as we head to break.

Good main event, Edge is definitely the better wrestler but Cena doesn’t look too bad. Both men get a good amount of offence, Edge has Cena locked in a sharpshooter, Cena makes it to the ropes, Edge goes for the spear, Cena avoids it and locks in the STF, Edge makes it to the ropes, Edge hits the spear and goes outside for his championship belt, brings it back in the ring, the referee takes it off him, Cena scoops Edge up for the Attitude Adjustment but Edge manages to grab the championship back off the ref and hits Cena in the head with it, Cena wins by DQ, Edge is still champion.

– Edge is sat down on the entrance way when Big Show appears next to him, Vickie Guerrero comes out and announces Big Show as the #1 contender for the World Championship at WrestleMania XXV! Edge looks shocked and Cena is devastated as Raw goes off the air…

MELINA’S COMPLETE BARE ASS ON RAW – OH MY GOD!! **NO JOKE**!