ROH 7th Anniversary Results (3/21) – Hammerstein Ballroom

Credit: Stu Carapola & PWInsider

The return date is June 13th.

I guess attendance isn’t quite what they expected, they just broke down two sections of GA seating. I’m really bad at gauging attendance, but this place is nowhere near full.

Roderick Strong and Erick Stevens defeated Rhett Titus and Kenny King

While Titus was handing out his card with his numbers to the girls at ringside, one girl handed him a card with her number. Pretty funny. Roderick and Stevens are looking pretty badass tonight. Strong has improved a million percent, looks in great shape, and is so on the money tonight, I wish they’d find a direction for him. Stevens has gotten really lean and cut as well, the two of the look pretty intimidating. Strong and Stevens batter Titus to start, killing him with an endless series of chops, but a cheapshot from the outside by King on Stevens turns the tide. Fans start chanting HepaTitus at Rhett. King kills Stevens with a clothesline for two. Titus and King have gelled great as a team and are terrific at cuttin the ring off. Roderick makes the hot tag and cleans house, then it’s back and forth for several minutes until Stevens puts Titus away with the Doctorbomb.

Brent Albright defeated Claudio Castagnoli by DQ

Claudio has a new robe with the Swiss cross thing and is doing the tried and true heel European gimmick of having his weight announced in kilos rather than pounds. Albright is really over with the NY crowd. Claudio cheapshots him from behind to start and then they start trading blows. Claudio bails to the floor and Albright hits a tope and tosses him back in. Albright gets the (very) delayed vertical suplex for 2, but misses a crossbody and shish kebabs himself on the ropes to give Claudio control. Claudio’s looking a lot more cut tonight too. Did somebody hire these guys a dietician? Albright makes a comeback, but Claudio takes his head off with a big bicycle kick. Albright with an Air Raid Crash for 2 and gets him in the Crippler Crossface (drawing a surprisingly large Benoit chant) but Claudio makes the ropes so Albright does the Benoit snot blow. Albright comes off the top and Claudio catches him with a European uppercut for 2, then they go to the outside where Albright gets a wicked suplex. Both men beat the count and Claudio starts working him over, but Albright gets the Crowbar. Claudio escapes and hot shots him on the top rope, but Albright gets a big superplex with one minute left in the time limit, drawing a groan from the crowd. Toe to toe until the bell rings and they keep going after the match ends. The crowd starts chanting for five more minutes, which of course always works. Claudio grabs the mic and says he knows he can beat Albright if he has five more minutes, and for the first time in history we actually get it. Albright with the Crowbar, Claudio reverses into a Crowbar of his own, Albright escapes and tries to get the half nelson suplex, but Claudio kicks him low for the DQ. Claudio with the Ricola Bomb and then fights off security before delivering the headstomp with the chair. Great match with a fun ending that left you unsatisfied, but in a good way.

Bobby Dempsey defeated Adam Pearce

Some guy from NBC is the guest timekeeper. Okay. This is a “Sweet N Sour Challenge Match.” Okay. Adam does a bit with the NBC guy and threatens to John Stossel him, then shoves him into the ropes. Okay, I really can’t see Dempsey beating Pearce. Pearce looks way better than last time I saw him, maybe he’s preaching his secrets to the roster? Just to make me look bad, Dempsey hits the Death Valley Driver for the win in like 30 seconds, then parties in the ring with the NBC guy. The lights briefly went out in the middle of the match, the second time that happened. I figured the first was a mistake, but this makes me think it’s some kind of angle.

Jerry Lynn defeated Mike Quackenbush

This is gonna be good. Counter wrestling to start as they trade armbars and wristlocks. Lynn with a flying headscissors and corner clothesline, but Quack blocks a bulldog and counters to a leg lace. Quack with a beautiful springboard headscissors and a rolling fireman’s carry into a crossed leglock. Lynn with the springboard dropkick sends Quack to the floor, Quack dives over Lynn’s baseball dropkick attempt, but Lynn gets the guillotine legdrop on the ropes. Quack counters by sweeping Lynn off the apron, but Lynn then counters another headscissors by swinging Quack into the guardrail. Back in the ring Lynn hits a nasty German suplex and a tornado DDT. Quack counters another tornado DDT and gets a nice magistral cradle for 2. This is really awesome. Lynn with a backslide for 2, then a series of reversals ends with Lynn trying to slam Quack off the top, but Quack rolls through and goes for a superplex, but Lynn with a top rope sunset flip/ powerbomb for 2. Quack with his version of the Jig And Tonic for 2, but Lynn gets the cradle piledriver out of nowhere for the win. This was a counterwrestling fan’s Christmas present. They shake hands after and Lynn raises Quack’s hand.

Tyler Black, Necro Butcher, and Delirious defeated Jimmy Jacobs, Brodie Lee, and Austin Aries

This is elimination rules, with a different stip for each fall and the whole thing being No DQ. Aries now not only has the “strip club for lunch” mustache, but also a soul patch as well. Joey Ryan has nothing on this guy when it comes to sleaze. Delirious is back in the green and black.

Fall #1

Brodie lays out Tyler and Delirious then calls out Necro, which ends badly for him. Jimmy winds up alone in the ring with all three opponents and gets destroyed. I guess the first fall is tornado rules? All six men end up brawling on the floor. Necro goes for the dive to the floor, but Brodie yanks him down and hits the big boot. All six men back in the ring as Aries and Jacobs continue to snipe at each other even as they try to work together. Tyler with the big dive to the floor and then Necro hits his to a big pop. Now Daizee goes for hers but Aries grabs her, drawing Delirious in to the rescue. Aries misses the corner dropkick, Brodie comes in but Delirious takes out both men. Delirious gets Jacobs in the Cobra Stretch, but Brodie with the Black Hole Slam and Aries with the brainbuster to eliminate Delirious.

Fall #2

This fall cannot be won by pinfall. Aries and Jacobs start their repressed love thing again, allowing Black to come back, but Brodie comes in and shuts him down. Heels triple team Tyler until Necro comes in and cleans house. Everyone’s back to the floor where Necro and Brodie end up brawling through the crowd and to the back, and the ref used that excuse to DQ both men. This whole fall got TNA chants.

Fall #3

No stip announced for this fall. Jacobs and Aries double team Black but spend as much time shoving each other around. Jacobs blocks Aries from hitting the missile dive to the floor so Aries attacks him and they start brawling. Black uses the distraction to try a comeback, but quickly gets shut down. I guess Aries and Jacobs are working together again. Jacobs gets 2, so I guess pinfalls count again. Aries misses a corner dropkick and kills Jacobs with it, but hits a second one for 2. Black and Aries go back and forth until Black gets the corner powerbomb and superkick, then locks in the End Time to eliminate Aries.

Fall #4

This fall can’t end by submission. That may be the least creative stip of all time. This match has gone beyond boring chants and now the crowd is just laughing. Jimmy gets the spike out, Tyler gets ahold of it, but misses and buries the spike in the top turnbuckle. Jimmy gets the Contra Code for 2, then locks in the End Time but there’s NO SUBMISSIONS! Tyler reverses the End Time to God’s Last Gift to mercifully end this one.

Not only did this not get over at all, but this may have been one of the worst matches in ROH history.

Bryan Danielson and Colt Cabana defeated Bison Smith and Jimmy Rave

Prince Nana came out in a Barack Obama shirt and made stimulus remarks to a girl at ringside. This guy’s hilarious. He announces Jimmy Rave as Bison’s mystery partner, which got a big pop from the crowd. Rave gets a big welcome back chant. Danielson ran into the ring before he could even be announced and got destroyed. Grizzley Redwood came out to make us think he was the mystery partner and was quickly disposed of, then the real partner came out…Colt Cabana! He got an even bigger reaction than Rave did. This match has gotten the biggest reaction of the night so far and they haven’t even started wrestling yet. Cabana and Rave start and the crowd starts a “die Jimmy die” chant. This match is bringing me right back to 2005. Danielson and Cabana take turns working Rave over until Rave tags to Bison, who presses Danielson into the corner. Heat segment on Danielson, but Cabana tags in after only a couple of minutes, but Bison no-sells everything and hits a big shoulder block. Danielson comes in and together they’re able to turn the tide, but Danielson tries a dive to the floor, and Bison catches and slams him. Bison with the claw slam onto Jimmy’s knee, and then tries another claw slam, but Danielson comes in and together they send Bison to the floor where Danielson hits the big dive. Rave catches Cabana in the heel hook, but Cabana reverses into a rolling press for the win. After the match Cabana calls for the Final Countdown and it begins playing over the sound system. This came totally unglued, but was still pretty good. I was a bit bummed that Bison didn’t get into total destruction mode.

D’Lo Brown defeated Jay Briscoe

D’Lo gets on the mic before the match and thanks WWE for releasing him and wishing him luck in his future endevours, because his future endevours are right here in ROH. Brown overpowers Jay to start and does the head thing, but Jay with a Frankensteiner and a dropkick and they do the indy stalemate. Jay with a series of legsweeps frustrates Brown, but Brown distracts the ref and gets a low blow to take control, then hits a big short clothesline. Brown working a very methodical style here, measuring Jay before getting a big running clothesline in the corner and a vertical suplex for 2. I want to see someone try a horizontal or, even better, diagonal suplex someday. Jay tries to go toe-to-toe with Brown but that doesn’t end well for him. They go chop-for-chop, but Brown goes to the eyes and catches him in a top wristlock/half nelson combo. Jay escapes, but eats the flying heel kick. Brown with a series of stiff short clotheslines gets 2. Brown with a springboard dropkick sends Jay to the floor and fakes a dive, but Jay caught him with a dropkick to the face when he did the dive for real. Dueling chants start as both men get back in the ring and Jay hits an inverted STO into the turnbuckle, big boot, and clothesline for 2. Brown with the Sky High for 2, then a Death Valley Driver for another two count. Brown moves out of the way of the top rope legdrop and rolls up Jay with the tights for the win. Crowd was asleep, but it was fun to watch D’Lo play the grizzled veteran who doesn’t mind doing whatever he has to to win.

Kevin Steen and El Generico defeated the American Wolves to retain the ROH World Tag Team Title.

I will be very surprised if the Wolves don’t get the straps tonight. This is no DQ. Good for Eddie Edwards, who first appeared as an occasional undercard guy two or three years ago and is now working the semi-main on one of ROH’s big four events. Steen and Generico run in before their announcement and attack the Wolves, sending them to the floor where Steen hits the big dive. Generico throws a bunch of chairs in the ring and Steen gets a flipping legdrop/conchairto on Edwards. Richards drags Steen to the floor and launches him into the rail, then gets in the ring and Tomvstones Generico on the chairs. Wolves start working Steen’s knee over with a chair. Crowd is dead for this one. I just noticed Edwards seems to be sporting a shiner. Wolves are pretty brutally working Steen over while Generico’s on the floor. They tie Steen’s knee in the ropes and take a run, but Steen moves and they go to the floor, where Generico hits a top rope somersault on both opponents. Back in the ring, Generico kills Edwards with a chairshot then gets a top rope splash on Richards for 2. Steen brings out a ladder and rams it into Edwards’ face in a pretty brutal display. Now it’s Steen and Generico’s turn to double team Richards, beating him up in the corner before Irish whipping him into the ladder and suplexing him on it. Generico with a split legged moonsault for 2. Edwards runs in and nails Steen, but eats a corner Yakuza kick from Generico. Generico misses a dive and audibly crunches onto the ladder as the crowd finally comes alive. Wolves with the double team alarm clock and a sick chairshot to Generico, but Steen breaks up the fall and takes out both men, then hits the corner cannonball. Steen places the ladder over the Wolves and Generico hits the coast to coast somersault dropkick, but that only gets 2. Great match. Steen gives Edwards a Fisherman’s Buster on a chair for 2. Richards takes out Generico on the floor then pushes Steen off the top rope and he lands on the knee. Richards with a chairshot to the knee and a Texas Cloverleaf, but he toughs it out until Generico makes the save. Generico misses a chairshot and nails Steen and Richards tosses Generico to the floor. Richards misses a shooting star press and Steen starts working Richards’ knee over with a chair then traps him in the Sharpshooter for the win. So much for my theory. Wolves attack after the match and Edwards just kills Steen with a chairshot, then put Generico through a table in the ring. Steen still tries to fight back, but they tape him to the ropes and work over his knees with a couple of chairs before finally finishing with a conchairto and walking off with the belts.

ROH Champion Nigel McGuiness vs. KENTA.

Nigel looks awful, he’s got both arms taped up. KENTA gets a lukewarm welcome back chant, and Nigel doesn’t get much reaction either. How does KENTA always end up wrestling badly injured ROH World Champions in New York? KENTA goes right to work with a pair of big kicks to Nigel’s arms that drop him immediately. KENTA continues kicking away on the arm and rams him shoulderfirst into the ringpost before putting Nigel in an armbar. KENTA is just mercilessly kicking away at Nigel, getting some big cheers from the strongly anti-Nigel crowd. KENTA with a big running boot for 2 and a key lock, but Nigel makes the ropes. Ref keeps checking on Nigel after each barrage to see if he wants to continue. Finally Nigel gets in some offense by moving out of the way of a kneedrop and getting a Tower of London to the floor. Back in the ring, Nigel starts working on KENTA’s arm. You’d think he’d go after the legs since kicks have been KENTA’s main offense, but what do I know? Anyway, Nigel gets 2 off of an arm-assisted suplex and gets a chickenwing, then catches KENTA with a surprise dropkick, which we never see him do. KENTA comes back with a vertical suplex and a flying clothesline for 2, then it’s back to the key lock, but Nigel makes the ropes. More vicious kicks from KENTA, but Nigel with a big forearm in the corner. He’s dramatizing it, but Nigel is obviously in pain. Nigel knocks KENTA off the ropes to the outside and then whips him into the rail, but misses a charge and eats the rail himself. KENTA drapes Nigel over the rail and hits a top rope kneedrop to the outside. Nigel just beat the count, and KENTA started killing him with kicks and a fisherman’s buster for 2. Flying clothesline gets 2 on Nigel, series of pinfall reversals ends with Nigel catching KENTA in the London Dungeon. He makes the ropes, so Nigel hits another Tower of London for 2. He tries a third, but KENTA blocks, so Nigel goes for a superplex instead. KENTA turns that into a top rope Falcon Arrow for 2 then another series of reversals into a German Suplex for 2 by KENTA. KENTA finally hits Go To Sleep, butNigel gets his foot on the rope. Crowd didn’t like that one. They battle on the apron and Nigel hits a Tower of London to the apron. Both men again just beat the count and Nigel reverses out of the Go To Sleep and hits one of his own for 2, then gets KENTA in the London Dungeon again, but KENTA reverses to a cradle for 2. Nigel catches him in the London Dungeon yet again and bridges all the way back until KENTA taps. Awesome match, on the level of KENTA-Danielson from 2006. Some idiot fan got a little overzealous after the match and Zack had to eject him.

Well, there were two awesome matches and two good matches, but the rest was moderate to really bad, and the crowd was dead. It was good, but not as good as it looked on paper.

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