Credit: Dr. Keith Lipinski
Pre-interview Former Special K member Fred “Elephant Boy” rode the sybian while wearing a bikini after spending a half an hour talking about gay fantasies involving wrestlers and a very special “fuck marry kill” with Foley, Angle and Hogan. For those who care, he would marry Mick, fuck Kurt and kill Hogan.
Kurt came into the room, and saw this overweight, retarded man wearing a bikini on a huge sex toy and noted “he was doing good, until he got in here.” Angle asked Elephant Boy how many titles Kurt had one, Elephant Boy said “3 or 4” Angle replied it was 12.
Elephant Boy asked about Eric Angle, Kurt’s brother and former member of WWE Developmental. Kurt said Eric was out of wrestling and is a welder now.
Kurt talked about the falling out with Vince – and needing time off to get some help from the painkillers he was taking. “We had a talk and we made amends.” Kurt said they were “extra strength stuff” and mentioned percoset, five broken necks, up to 65 pills a day and hasn’t taken any in four years. He also said “I don’t like to talk about it (his drug problems). The drugs made him feel straight and normal and would take 20 in the morning just to wake up. Vince wanted Kurt to do rehab on his own as opposed to going to rehab. It took five months for Kurt to clean himself up. He put over Vince allowing people being about to go to rehab now.
On the divorce with Karen, it happened 2 months ago and Karen is a millionaire now. He doesn’t mind as long as the money is going to their two kids. Kurt knows that someone in the business did something with her (“maybe a wrestler”) as Kurt got her in the business, and she’d stay out all night and later tell Kurt she was hanging out with friends in the hotel lobby. Kurt did note he cheated on her a couple of times while they were separated and she may have been getting back at him. He did put her over as a great mother. Howard asked if it was Vince who was sleeping with Karen, Kurt said if it was Vince, Vince would have called to tell Kurt and say “I got a storyline for you…”
Kurt proclaimed his love for Stern’s news person Robin Quivers and he had a poem for her. Kurt said he may be in love with Robin and he has dated a black woman since his divorce. Kurt thinks he may have a little bit of black in him (as he talked about his butt, his lips and curly hair), which might explain why he’s so into Black women. He loved Robin in the Private Parts film epically the scene where Howard was kissing her feet to get her back.
On MMA “Still considering, seriously considering it. For me, in Wrestling or MMA I would make the same”
Kurt read his romantic poem to her -he got on his knees – which is one thing he didn’t do when he proposed to his ex-wife Karen “actually she proposed to me.”:
“To my love Robin,
I am a bachelor
and true love is hard to find
I may be a wrestler
but you may love me for my mind
you are living the single life again
and are ready for the next phase
and just like Dr. Roni (Keith note: Robin’s diet doctor)
I will make you a new woman in 21 days.
I won a gold metal in the Olympics
they say I never have been beat
I am also a gold medallist in the sack
much better than vegetables and meat (Keith note: Robin has talked about using vegetables before)
TNA pays me millions
to wrestle and cross the line
I will never ever bitch
even about an $800 bottle of wine (Keith note: show joke about Robin spending 800 dollars on a bottle a wine at dinner)
We can go to the theater
we can roll around in the grass
we can get coffee at starbucks
but don’t try to squirt it up my ass (Keith note: Robin’s is a enema nut)
Robin please give me a chance
for a love like you’ve never seen
and I’m much more well hung
than that damn Jim Florintine (Keith note: Robin’s ex-boyfriend)
I will look past your shortcomings
and unlike Howard I don’t snore
I don’t even care that you scored a fucking 34 (Keith note: Robin’s score on a narcissism test)
any man who disrespects you
I will certainly strangle
so how does this sound my sweetheart
oh Robin Ophelia Angle
I can make love to you all night
and I’ll make you squeal
I’ll have you screaming
its real, damn real”
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