WWF Raw is War Results – February 12, 2001

February 12, 2001
East Rutherford, New Jersey
Hosted by Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
Report by Fred Venturini – TPWW.net

We are LIVE from Continental Airlines Arena, and the stage isn’t just getting hit with pyro, it’s exploding.

SEGMENT: Triple H, Stephanie, The Rock, Austin, Rikishi
Right off the bat, The Game’s music hits along with his lovely bride, Steph. Tonight, The Rock will represent HHH in the main event where the stipulation for No Way Out is on the line. They make their way to the ring for a promo, with the Game decked out in his “mild” sleeveless jean jacket and Steph wearing a shiny black skirt with a tight blouse to match. Man, am I ready for RAW.

HHH grabs the mic, and he tells Steph that NJ is the same damn thing, the armpit of America, full of blank, dull, expressionless faces, as if they can’t figure out how their lives got this bad. Like it’s not their own fault that they sit confused, but Game admits that tonight he has the same confused look that they do, because there’s a lot of things about the main event that he doesn’t understand. And here comes the SLUT chant! Game ignores it, going on to say that he does understands why Vince is keeping them apart, why he’s penalizing them for being physical, why he’s having a lottery where a man would represent each. I’m going to bet that lotto was rigged. Austin chant breaks out, and Game says to bring him out since they can’t touch each other. Game says he can’t understand why the Rock, who he hates, is representing him. Now, a ROCKY chant breaks out. Well, the Game says he won’t represent the people, he’ll represent HHH. He threatens the Rock not to screw up tonight. Game says he can “outthink” Stone Cold, and the stipulations he’s selected in case the Rock wins are mind-boggling (HBK?). Austin can’t deal with his stipulations, so all the Rock has to do is get the job done, and Game warns him to not do anything stupid.

“If you smeeeel what the Rock . . . is cookin!” The Rock’s in New Jersey, and he’s come to face HHH from the ramp. Mike in hand, colorful shirt dangling, the Rock says that the Game took a vow of marriage from the biggest slut in the western hemisphere! The fact of the matter is this . . . the Rock could care less about HHH or his stips, cause the Rock has a title shot at No Way Out, and the Rock guarantees that he’ll be the champ, and he also guarantees that he’ll defend it at Wrestlemania. The Rock knows that HHH likes to have all things revolve around him, and the stipulations for tonight’s main event won’t be that the winner gets five minutes with Steph because everyone has already had that! The stipulations that apply right now: number one, stop running your mouth so the Rock can get ready in the back. Number two, keep running your mouth, and the Rock will kick his shoe straight up your monkey ass! Steph says he doesn’t have the balls, but the Rock interrupts saying “ooook, stipulation number two here it is,” and he tosses down the mike and begins to walk to the ring.

In the ring, HHH and Rock face off when Rikishi’s music hits. The Ass of America says woa, you have me to worry about. Unlike the Rock, Rikishi has no problem with the match. He’s glad to represent Stone Cold because Austin knows that he would never “steer” him wrong. This match will be a regular “hit and run,” a quick one. Wow, Fattie should be on Def Comedy Jam with that material.

Uh oh, Ausin’s glass breaks and Austin is coming out, complete with BMF strut. All four men in the ring now, and Stone Cold grabs Rikishi’s mike. Staring down HHH now, he says “since your having so much trouble figuring things out maybe you can understand this” and he gives the bird. As for Rikishi, he is one funny, diaper wearing son of a bitch. Stone Cold says he won’t get bothered, but what is going to happen is that he’s representing Stone Cold. Normally, he’d like to see his fat ass whipped, so make all the jokes you want, but Stone Cold is going to sit at ringside, urging him to look at him and do what he’s got to do. When it’s over, he’ll hand a beer to him, and stunner him, and there ain’t a damn thing he can do about it!

HHH says wait up, and he’s going to sit at ringside as well, telling the Rock to know his damn role, or else. Now the Rock tattoos the Game from the side, but Rikishi blindsides the Rock and drops a big legdrop on him. Now Stone Cold is staring down HHH so he can’t interfere. Rikishi lands a huge boot into Stone Cold’s face! The Rock and SC are decimated in the ring, and JR says that might be a sign of things to come. Commercial.

I-C TITLE MATCH: LATINO HEAT VS CHRIS JERICHO
Eddy comes out, sporting long hair, and CJ gets a big pop on his way out. Title on the line, and here we go with a quick lockup. Jericho lands a quick knockdown with a drop toe hold and then drops him with a side suplex. Knife-edge chops get some “whoos” and then Eddy takes control, hitting him a big uppercut. A big suplex from Eddy. He cinches up an armlock, but Jericho makes it to his feet. Eddy turns it into a vertical suplex. Eddy goes up top now, but Jericho jumps it, joining him and bringing him down with a thunderous superplex. Chris in control, landing a flying forearm shot and more chops. Eddy gets a big bulldog now, and he tries for the lionsault, getting kneed in the stomach. That happens more often than tasteless Steph jokes! A rollover pin combo, but Jericho kicks out after a close two count. Now Eddy gets tossed onto the turnbuckle, where he stands on his head, coming down for a huricanrana, but Y2J slows him down, locking on the Walls of Jericho, right near the ropes.

X-Pac comes out now, with the King yelping “he’s back he’s back,” jumping Y2J with an X-Factor. Unbelievable, two weeks in a row Y2J gets jumped by a returning superstar. Maybe next week it’ll be Hulk Hogan. Anyway, I was expecting more from this one. There was like, one pin attempt.

WINNER BY DQ: CHRIS JERICHO 

Now a limo is arriving, and out steps the chairman, Mr. McMahon, and he’s met by Trish. They exchange words and Regal steps out, and it looks as if he’s courting Trish, because he walks away with her in his arm!! Commercial.

Back from break now, JR and King discuss the “rivalry” between Kurt and Essa Rios, showing Kurt drop the Olympic slam once for every “I.”

Edge and Christian are talking with Kurt, and Mike Cole informs Kurt that Essa wants a match. Kurt asks what is Spanish for “know when to quit,” suggesting that he should find a Spanish running buddy for a tag match. Edge and Christian plug their match with Undertaker and Kane, saying their unavailable and soon they’ll be six time champs.

Now there is footage of Rikishi, and HHH comes in to talk to him. They’re buddy buddy, and HHH is trying to convince Rikishi to take a dive. But Rikishi says to hold up, because he goes down for nobody. Rikishi calls the Game “H”? He’s TOOOO COOOL, but I think it’s an overload on the ghetto talk. HHH says you gotta do what you gotta do. Now HHH is about to club Rikishi with a briefcase when Haku walks in, and HHH says he was just leaving! Footage is now shown of Lita and the Hardyz coming out, and they cut to commercial.

MATCH: CHRIS BENOIT AND SATURN W/TERRI VS THE HARDY BOYZ W/LITA
The Hardy Boyz make their way to the ring. At least I think, all I can see is Lita’s toned abs, and of course her ample . . . red hair. Oh, that is the Hardy Boyz, and they have some cool new jerseys on. Get it, new jerseys in New Jersey? The fun never ends in the WWF. And here come the Radialz, with Terri, who’s wearing the bare minimum for her match.

The match is underway, and the Hardyz hit poetry in motion very quickly. But Benoit quickly settles things down. Dean Malenko is on the ramp, lusting for Lita while Benoit chops away at Jeff’s chest. Saturn in now, putting on the pain with a huge suplex. A nice eye gouge now, and Saturn tosses Jeff into the turnbuckle, abs first. Now Jeff gets up top, hitting Saturn with a huge corkscrew. Tag to Matt, and now he’s knocking Saturn around with a clothesline and a necbreaker. Matt gets a quick two and then Benoit interferes, getting tossed out so Jeff can nail him with a dive from the guardrail. Matt hits a legdrop from up top, and Terri comes in as the Hardyz disrobe to the high pitched squeal of “Joiseys” finest women. Tag to Lita, who huricanranas Saturn, and then hits Terri with a twist of fate. Now a bigtime moosault from Lita, and they go breast to breast as Lita pins Terri.

WINNERS: HARDYZ W/ LITA

POSTMATCH

Saturn knocks out Lita after the match, and Dean saves her. Then he picks her up and knocks her right back down with a big smile on his face. I give Terri the edge in hotness for this match, you could almost see EVERYTHING. Did you see those shorts? Yeah neither did I. Hey, if the girls can squeal over the multi-haired Hardy Boyz, I can drool over Terri and Lita.

Coming back from commercial, missles crash as the Dudleyz come out in street clothes, no doubt to watch the number one contenders match from ringside.

MATCH: UNDERTAKER AND KANE VS EDGE AND CHRISTIAN
The Dudleyz greet JR with “wassssup!” Edge and Christian come out, and there’s no one the Dudleyz like to beat up on more than the two blonde punks. Now Kane comes out by himself? To his old music? I’m ready for some “Rollin,” and as Kane brings out the fire, the music hits and the Undertaker revs it up.

Match starts up with E and C from behind, but the Undertaker and his hellish brother soon overpower. Edge gets a massive double backdrop, and then there’s some action outside with UT and Christian. Inside, there’s a chokeslam by Kane! Christian sneaks in and nails Kane with a chair. Ref crawls over . . . one . . . two . . . but Kane kicks out! All the while, Undertaker is outside jawing with the Buh Buh. When things settle down, Kane is up top, but Edge trips him. Both go up to superplex Kane, but he drops them, hitting a clothesline from the top and then tagging the Badass. UT lands some nice power moves, and then hits the patented flying clothesline off of the rope. He goes for the last ride, but it gets broken up . Now a chokelsam for Christian! One . . . two . . . but Edge breaks it up. Kane and Edge outside, and they start up with the Dudleyz. All six men bawl outside now as the bell rings. All hell is breaking loose, I can’t quite keep track, with Buh Buh drilling UT and Kane beating on . . . well, everyone. Sergeant Slaughter and his GI Joe cronies break it up, and I think they’re going to call this one a no contest, but the Undertaker gets his music while he talks trash.
WINNER: NOT ONE DAMN SOUL, INCLUDING THE FANS

Now Cole is interviewing Kurt, asking him to choose a tag team partner. Kurt says it’s only Essa Rios and a Spanish homie, so he stops an old lady and asks her to be his tag team partner. “Huh?” she says, and Kurt says he has a partner until Raven walks up. “Nice partner. What time is she due back at the home?” he says. Kurt recruits Raven and informs the old lady she’s out, much to her dismay (not). Musing during the break: This tag match is getting hyped, so maybe we’ll get to see Justin Credible as the mystery partner! Who knows, but it has to be someone big. Or Crash. Jeez, that would suck. Oh, and what the hell is with the CHAMP, Kurt Angle, not playing an intrical part in the show? He’s a sidebar. That sucks.

Well, back from break now, and it’s Billy Gunn backstage. What does he think of his match with HHH? Payback, revenge, all of the above! Billy screams some, and just looks lost. Good God Billy, learn how to cut a promo.

Now Vince is talking on the phone about his valentine for Linda that he will air on Smackdown. Cole asks him what about the tag team contenders match? Vince announces that at No Way Out, there will be a tag team triple threat match for the tag titles with both Undertaker/Kane and Edge/Christian.

MATCH: HHH VS THE ONE, BILLY GUNN
Game comes out, game face on. And with him as always is Garth, I mean Steph. With Billy about to come out, I might just go take a leak, but here he comes to a mild pop. Gunn sprints out, knocking his former friend around and landing a big backdrop. Now a stiff shot for HHH on the outside, and Gunn is in control. Inside, he benches HHH above his head, for about thirty minutes, and gets a quick two. Now a dropkick and another near fall for Gunn. HHH finally comes back, landing his cute facebuster and tossing “The One” outside, following and drilling Gunn into the steel steps, shoulder first. Note to Billy, get new tights that don’t look gay. And the Ref is stiiiiilll counting, and on eight Gunn comes back, only to be met by Hunter’s rage, and his boots. Game lands a suplex, and then a kneedrop. He tries to cover twice, but Gunn just won’t give up . . . yet. HHH keeps punishing but gets caught in a spinebuster to a crowd reaction of roughly pins dropping. After more pointless grappling, I wonder if the Assman will ever come back. Now Billy with a forearm slam and a near fall, and oh my God, Billy lands the Jackhammer? One, two, and no. The Game isn’t losing this one, turning a fameasser into a slam, and then cinching up and hitting the pedigree. You know the rest. Three. Over. Thank God.
WINNER BY PINFALL: HHH

Note to WWF, don’t ever put a match like that so close to nine or I’ll be watching WCW next week. Back from break, Essa shows off his choice for tag partner, which seems to be that Big Nasty Bastard, the Big Show.

Now X-Pac’s music hits, and I don’t know what the hell he’s doing out there. Oh, it’s a match.

MATCH: SCOTTY 2 HOTTY VS X-PAC
The master of the Worm turns it up and hits the ring, complete with ragged hairdo. X lands a couple of shots right off of the bat, leaving Scotty in the corner, setting up the bronco buster. Grandmaster Sexay grabs his leg, and then X-Pac gets facedropped, and here it is, the W-O-R-M, whooo, whooo, whooo. It’s a sad day when a little facedrop thirty seconds in incapacitates you for about ten minutes.

Now X-Pac lands a move, and seems to injure Scotty 2 Hotty, who is writhing in pain now. He seems really hurt, and now X-Pac grabs the mic, telling us that it’s his time to kick someone’s ass. He challenges Sexay, who disrobes and gears it up, landing a bigtime powerslam. Now a bulldog from Sexay, who gets two for his trouble. Big rights from Sexay. He goes up top and lands about fifteen punches, but comes down and gets distracted by the ref. He gets kicked and X-factored quicker than the blink of an eye according to JR. Now Jericho runs in, assaulting X-Pac, hitting a massive lionsault.

Uh oh, from behind, it’s just a chairshot on Jericho, it’s just an asswhippin for Jericho, it’s Justin Credible!!!! JR sells, saying “I thought he was in ECW!!” What ECW JR? So I guess it’s X-Pac and Justin for the time being, just like ol’ tpww told you on our newsboard.

WINNER: X-PAC WINNER: X-PAC (He beat both members of Too Cool, not a good sign for those boys.) 

Now Rock gets an interview, but there’s a time for questions, a time for answers, and a time to kick Rikishi’s ass all over New Jersey.

Cut to Al Snow’s locker room, where he’s dressing up like Foley? Oh please God bring back the Micker here tonight! Commercial.

Back from commercial, Mick Snow comes out and grabs a mike. He says that Vince isn’t about fairness, he’s about screwing people, and not Trish but Mick. He may be a fat, goofy, foulsmelling man, but he’s Al’s best friend. He thinks that Mick will live through him in this very ring. He vows to have a strike until Vince decides to address the Foley issue. Al starts a Foley chant now, and Vince comes out in the interest of fairness of course.

Vince is going to the ring, and you know what that means. Ramp=talk. Ring=asskicking for Vince. I’m excited here.

Vince grabs the mike, saying for the record, he doesn’t screw anyone, especially Trish. They’re just friends. Yeah. As far as the strike goes, Al must remove himself for Vince himself will do it!! I love it. Vince says you sure you want this as he takes off his jacket, and dear God, it’s William Regal. I hate William Regal. He scurries out, begging Vince, a man of class and honor, not to lower himself to violence. He asks why things end in violence. Well Willy, it’s the WWF. He reasons with Al now, telling him to not besmirch Vince. Without Vince, the WWF wouldn’t exist, mentioning his charitable work with children. Regal says that Trish is his little piece of crumpet, which is his girlfriend. She can be my piece anyday. With Regal in midsentence, Vince sneaks up from behind and nails Al with a lowblow, and now Regal is absolutely pounding Al’s face! Vince throws the wig on a helpless Al, and Regal and Vince leave. JR says, “fairness? My Oklahoman ass!” Now that is funny.

Vince is shown in the back mulling it over with Regal, but Stone Cold shows up saying “I’ll bet you think that’s pretty cute. Here’s a stip, how about the winner gets to tie your grapefruits up with a chain and pull them off your carcass!” Now we get some XFL highlights, and it was a damn good weekend of football, so be sure to check out the new XFL column when it gets posted when I shoot on Jim Rome and answer reader questions, as well as a recap, and a week 3 preview!

At WWF New York, the Kat is shown dancing on a pole. Yummy. Richards is shown watching on TV as the RTC keeps preaching to him, saying that the Kat is bringing indecency into their homes, and he says that he’ll handle the problem himself, for “Kat’s . . . own . . . good.” Intense.

Kurt is shown walking with Raven beside him. Raven says he wants him to get the old lady back since the Big Show is Essa’s partner. Kurt says, champion to champion, they’ll be fine. “You’re the hardcore champ! I’ll handle Essa, you handle the Big Show, and we’ll be fine,” Kurt says. Raven says yeah right, and I concur my hardcore friend. If you have ninja-lady around, I’d get her to drive off with me before the Show digs his meathooks into that neck. Commercial.

As we come back, Kurt and Raven argue on their way to the ring.

MATCH: KURT ANGLE AND RAVEN VS THE BIG SHOW AND ESSA RIOS
Wellll, well it’s time to roll film for that man among men, the Big Show. He’s wearing some new tights, a combo of Andre the Giant and Kevin Nash. Raven goes to work on Essay, and now Kurt in, trying to hit him but can’t. Essa uses some nice flips and kicks, but Kurt lands one of his patented suplexes. Raven tags in, and he tries a suplex, but Essa lands on his feet, throwing Raven into the ropes. Essa tags the Big’un, and the Show goes right for Kurt, but the ref tells him he didn’t see the tag. Now Raven gets the pin on Essa, and I’m not lying, I didn’t even see the move that did it. Big Show is working over Kurt and Raven until they get control. The Ninja Lady comes out with weapons galore, but they can’t get him down with a trashcan, a fire extinquisher, or . . . oh, the two by four did it. To one knee, and then he just looks pissed. Kurt runs while Raven gets to taste the Showstopper chokeslam. This match outstinks Gunn vs. HHH.
WINNER BY PINFALL: RAVEN AND KURT ANGLE

Rock, HHH, Rikishi, and Austin are shown strutting, and then we dramatically cut to commercial.

As we come back, the Game’s music hits. For the third time. And with him as always is Steph. I think we’ve gotten our money’s worth with Trips tonight, since I’ll bet he’ll get involved tonight somehow. Now, the glass breaks and Austin comes out, ready to join Trips at ringside. Rikishi now makes his way to the ring, ready to fight in his Samoan depends. Rocky then comes out, and with all these guys coming out repeatedly tonight, the pops aren’t there right now. Man, two weeks in a row without good crowd reaction, but wait until St. Louis next week!

MATCH: ROCK VS RIKISHI
We start out with the Rock jawing with HHH, and then Rocky drills HHH, only to have Rikishi sneak up on him. Rock fights back, landing a clothesline and then he goes for the Rock Bottom to no avail. Rikishi walks right into a DDT, and there’s a quick two. Now Rocky gets slammed in the corner by Rikishi, who continues the assault, taking him outside. Rock reverses, putting Rikishi’s head into the ringsteps. HHH is in Rikishi’s face, and Rikishi starts whipping him, but Trips throws him into the Rock, who gets sandwiched against the guardrail. Rock continues getting pummeled outside, and Rikishi throws him back in the ring, where the Rock lands a big right. Rikishi regains control, cracking him with a right and a big legdrop. Now the crowd gets up for the Rock, chanting his name! Rikishi works over the Rock in the corner again, and this match as been very slow so far. A headbutt, and the Rock goes down, but he comes back strong, hitting a few rights until he gets rocked in the corner again. It looks like it’s stinkface time, but Rock sprints out of the corner with a clothesline, then another, and a huge spinebuster! One . . . two . . . no, Rikishi kicks out. Rock sprints at him again, and Riksihi lands a Samoan drop. Both men down, and HHH sneaks into the ring and puts Rock on Rikishi. With Steph distracting, Stone Cold sneaks in from the other side and puts Rikishi on Stone Cold. The ref counts two, and Austin and HHH are on the outside. Steph slaps Austin, who chases, but HHH blocks his way. They’re chest to chest. Meanwhile, Rock hits a quick Rock Bottom! One . . . two . . . three! HHH raises the Rocks hand. Rock isn’t pleased as the two men start fighting. Now Rikishi again attacks Rock, landing on his chest as Stone Cold looks on. Now Stone Cold comes to the ring, pounding Rikishi and landing a stunner. HHH and Austin are nose to nose, smelling each other’s breath as RAW fades out . . .