Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, January 11th, 2010 (USA Network)
Location: The Target Center in Minneapolis, Minn.
Results by 411 Mania
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
-Live from the Target Center in Minneapolis, MN
-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
-Mike Tyson is out to start the show, and says its great being back on Monday Night Raw. He says last time he was on Raw was a memorable experience, and we get a flashback to the build up to Wrestlemania XIV. A few fans chant “YOU SCREWED SHAWN!” He says it’s nice to be here, but is quickly interrupted by Sheamus. Sheamus asks if he heard right, and that Tyson was one of the most iconic sports figures of the 20th century. Tyson says that’s a matter of opinion. Sheamus says he’s not the baddest man on the planet, but just a washed up ex-champion. Sheamus says being WWE Champion makes him the baddest man on the planet. Tyson fakes a punch, and Sheamus dares him to do it again because if he does he better make contact. That brings Randy Orton to the ring, and he gets a great face reaction. Orton says he’s not interested in creating a Sports Center moment like some people might be, but he is instead interested in the WWE Title. He says Sheamus doesn’t have an opponent for the Rumble, so Tyson should go ahead and make Randy the number one contender and he thinks he should do it soon. Well the former Champion has heard enough, and now John Cena is out to join the festivities. Sheamus asks what Cena is doing here, and Cena responds he’s here to see Mike Tyson. He’s here because the Packers are in the pl…err…the Vikings are in the playoffs and the Packers are going home. He’s also here for the WWE Title. Cena says the last time he was in the ring with Sheamus he lost, and in fact he’s beat everyone in the ring. Sheamus, Orton, and even Tyson. Yes Tyson, because it took him several years of his youth beating stars like Piston Honda, Glass Joe, and even Super Macho Man…then it takes two years but you finally beat Tyson. Punch Out reference ftw! Cena says that’s why he deserves a shot. That brings out Kofi Kingston, and Orton informs him since he lost to him that he’s not part of the discussion. Kingston says both Orton and Cena have been WWE Champion, and have had countless shots at the title. He has never had one, and he’s not going to sit in the back and wait for his opportunity just because he lost to Orton. Kingston is interrupted by a loud Cena Sucks chant, but Cena improvs a bit putting his arm around Kofi and telling him not to pay any attention to them. Crowd switches to a Randy chant, as Kofi says he wants a shot and he won’t take no for an answer. Sheamus says he’s got a solution. He tells Tyson he used to wait months between defenses, and since he’s a much better champion than Tyson was he wants the Rumble off. He tells the three in the ring to go to the Rumble and earn it like everyone else. Tyson says Sheamus should never compare himself to Tyson, because Mike was a much better champion than he ever was because he never ducked a fight. Tyson books a triple threat with the winner going to the Rumble to face Sheamus. Cena gets the line of the night by saying he has to face Von Kaiser and Bald Bull, and the winner gets Soda Popinski. Excellent promo.
WWE Diva’s Championship Tournament Quarterfinals: Kelly Kelly vs. Alicia Fox
Kelly backs Alicia into the ropes on a lockup, but eats a forearm from Alicia who then rams Kelly head first into the top turnbuckle. Alicia snap mares Kelly over by her hair, and grabs a reverse chinlock. Kelly gets dumped to the apron, but she pulls Alicia outside with her and takes her out with a crossbody. Back inside Kelly hits a pair of clotheslines, and then a twisting hurracanrana. One legged dropkick connects by Kelly, but another hurracanrana is countered into a powerbomb which finishes at 2:00. Not offensively horrible or anything.
Winner: Alicia Fox (Pinfall-Powerbomb ½*)
-Footage of John Cena as Grand Marshall of the Fiesta Bowl.
Legacy vs. Mark Henry & Evan Bourne
Rhodes says last year Ted, Randy, and himself were three of the final four in the Royal Rumble. Last year it was Randy’s turn, but this year it’s a different story. Ted says he couldn’t agree more, because this year it’s his turn. Dibiase says Cody’s dad always talks about how he has movie star good looks, but take it from a guy who is a movie star himself. Starring in the Marine 2 which is superior to the original Marine in every way. Cody quips that his fifth grade graduation video is superior to the original Marine, and asks Ted what his point is. Ted says his point is he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. Worst comeback ever. Dibiase starts off with Bourne, and immediately gets hit with a hurracanrana and dropkick. Dibiase comes back to dump Bourne to the apron, and take him to the floor with a dropkick. Henry tries to come in, but only serves as a distraction allowing Cody to fire Bourne into the barricade. Back inside Dibiase fires Bourne into the top buckle, and grabs a rear chinlock. Rhodes tags in and delivers a dropkick for two, complete with loud TWO chant from the crowd. Who knew Minneapolis would have one of the hottest crowds in months? Cody delivers a bodyslam, and hits a knee drop for two. Cody grabs a modified rear chinlock with the arm trapped, but Bourne fights to his feet and fires Cody to the ropes. His backdrop attempt is countered with a kick to the face, but Bourne then connects with an enzaguri and makes the hot tag to Henry. Henry destroys both Legacy members with headbutts, and press slams Cody. Henry tags Bourne back in, and he heads to the top for Air Bourne. Dibiase makes the save, and then delivers a kick to Bourne. Henry goes after him and gets dumped to the floor, but Dibiase gets sent out with a kick from Bourne. Bourne is left in the ring with Cody, and if you’ve watched any WWE tag team match in the past five years or so you know what happens from here. Cross Rhodes finishes at 4:05. The tag team formula is really starting to bug me, because it takes all of the drama out of the finish.
Winners: Legacy (Rhodes pins Bourne-Cross Rhodes **)
-DX talks in the back, and HHH says Bret Hart was one thing but Mike Tyson? Shawn says he made peace with Bret Hart after 12 years, and now wants to do the same with Mike Tyson. HHH says Tyson is insane, certifiable, and he’s the man who knocked Shawn out for four years. Shawn says that’s the media talking, and he thinks he’s a changed man. He’s going to prove it.
-Shawn stops by Mike Tyson’s office, and says after last week he and Bret got closure. Tonight he wants to take the opportunity to have that same closure with Mike. He wants Tyson to know that he forgives him for knocking him out at Wrestlemania XIV. Tyson says the problem is he doesn’t need Shawn’s forgiveness, and he’s love to knock him out again. Jericho stops by to reinforce the fact that Tyson doesn’t like him, and that he doesn’t like him. Shawn asks why Jericho is here, because he was kicked off Raw. Jericho says he was able to get Tyson’s number, because they’re kindred spirits. They’ve both been oppressed by the unwashed masses, and “the man.” Jericho says he got a deal that says DX has a match tonight, and if they lose that match Jericho gets a free pass to be on whatever show he wants. Tyson says the match will be DX vs. Jericho and Tyson. Shawn says that’s fine because he still owes Tyson one. Tyson says he’s looking for the payment.
-We return to the announce table, where Michael Cole embarrassingly marks out for the return of Tyson to the ring before throwing us to a recap of Raw is Bret.
-Jack Swagger says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. Maybe next he’ll say hi to his boyfriend Mike, because he has about as good as shot as that cameraman. He says the Rumble is tailor made for someone like him, but since last year he was defending the ECW title he’s never been in a Royal Rumble. He guarantees us (x3) that no one on any show can beat him. He’s issuing an All American American American American Challenge that if anyone can throw him over the top rope to come out and try. Santino comes out and says that’s a coincidence, because he was about to come out and issue the All Italian Italian challenge. He wants to know how we settle this, and says they’ll face off right now. He tells Swagger he’ll drop him like a bicycle with no kickstand, and orders the ref to ring the bell.
Over the Top Rope Challenge: Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella
Swagger dominates Santino right away driving him into the buckle, and hitting a Vader Bomb. Swagger goes to dump Santino, but he holds onto the top rope and Swagger goes over the top at 0:53! SANTINO WINS! SANTINO WINS! SANTINO WINS! Swagger goes after Santino, but Santino sets a new WWE 40 yard dash record heading to the back.
Winner: Santino Marella (*)
WWE Championship #1 Contender Triple Threat Match: Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena
Orton attacks Cena at the bell, but gets knocked back by Kofi. Cena whips Orton to the corner, and then he and Kofi team up for a double suplex. Kingston hits a Stinger Splash, and delivers a European upper cut. Cena delivers a fisherman’s suplex, and Kingston delivers a pair of forearms sending Orton to the floor. Cena goes out after Orton and fires him back inside. Kofi and Cena deliver a double back elbow, and Cena hits an elbow drop. Kingston fires Orton to the floor, and turns to look at Cena. They face off as Sheamus wanders out to the stage and catches their eye. That allows Orton to slither inside to attack the faces from behind. Orton stomps on both guys as we head to commercial.
We return with Orton controlling Kofi with a side headlock as Cena lays prone on the floor. Orton catches Cena coming inside, and delivers a hangman’s DDT. Kofi has recovered though and dives off the top with a flying crossbody off the top rope. Kofi delivers a series of kicks, and then a dropkick. Orton reverses an Irish Whip into an inverted backbreaker, but Cena is back now with a running bulldog. Cena charges at Orton, but misses and shoulderblocks the ringpost. Here’s Kofi now with the SOS for two, and a kick to the face sets up a boom drop attempt. Cena hits a drop toehold as Kingston hits the ropes, and locks in an STF. Orton makes the save, but Cena comes right back with a pair of flying shoulderblocks. Cena hits a protoplex, and connects with the five knuckle shuffle. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Kofi stops that and delivers a jumping clothesline. Kofi connects with the boom drop to Cena, and calls for the Trouble in Paradise which connects but knocks Cena to the floor. Kofi hops to the second rope and delivers a series of right hands to Orton. Cody Rhodes is out and delivers a dropkick to the ringsteps taking out Cena. He then distracts the referee long enough for Dibiase to run out and knock Kofi from the top rope saving Orton. Orton then connects with an RKO to finish at 11:15. So the Legacy tension is on hold for now, until Orton doesn’t show proper gratitude for the help I’d assume. Orton stares down Sheamus after the match.
Winner: Randy Orton (Pinfall-RKO ***1/4)
-Josh Mathews talks to Mike Tyson by his match, but he’s quickly interrupted by Hornswoggle. Tyson says if he sees Swoggle tonight during the match he’s going tear his intestines out and jump rope with it. Then he’s going to put his fingers up his nostrils and pull his brain out before putting it against the newspaper and smash it against the window like silly putty. So he tells Swoggle to just move on and he hopes he doesn’t see him tonight. Swoggle backs off in fear. The entire IWC just became massive Tyson fans.
-Miz is outside the WWE Superstars Locker Room, and says when he showed up no one in the WWE locker room or WWE Universe respected him. He says they made his life a living hell, and in that locker room he got kicked out for eating a piece of chicken and spilling crumbs over a referee’s bag. He said he would see WWE Superstars like JBL (including a great JBL imitation), and says everyone wanted rid of him. He says used that negativity to fuel him to ignite a wrath against everyone in WWE today. Now he doesn’t even go in that locker room, as he has his own private dressing room. That dressing room is for the Evan Bourne’s and MVP’s. He makes his way to the arena, as he says the same MVP who is the number one contender for the US Championship. He says MVP has joined a long list of people to get publically humiliated by him. Miz says MVP doesn’t even deserve to be in the same ring as him, and if it was up to him MVP would still be in jail. He doesn’t believe in second chances because he has been perfect his entire life. He says the fans still boo him, and cheer him. He says that’s okay because he’s rather them boo him for what he is than cheer for him for something he’s not. He’s the reason we watch Raw, and he’s the most captivating star on the show. He says MVP has all the bling, and that’s great but let’s face fact. You can put diamonds on a dog, but it’s still a mut. He tells the “mistakes” (fans) they will respect him, because he’s the Miz and he’s awesome. MVP comes out and says the WWE Universe knows all about his history, and he’s never run from it. In fact he’s embraced it because he doesn’t want people to make the same mistakes he did. He says he does have a taste for the finer things in life, but he earned all of it. He says he worked hard to earn the respect of WWE Universe and that is something Miz hasn’t done. He says he has worked hard to call himself a superstar in this circus we call WWE. He says we are all animals in this circus, but he assures Miz he’s no mut. He tells Miz to excuse him for a moment, and he can just stand there and suck. MVP takes off his jacket, and tells Miz he’s a Bengal tiger while Miz is a monkey flinging poop. Miz says he might just fling some that hits his lips so MVP can taste what comes out of his mouth. MVP says Miz might think he’s tame because he likes the finer things in life, and because he’s now fan friendly. He dares Miz to go ahead and fling it, and then decides to go over his past. MVP says he acted like an animal, and was treated like one. He tells Miz that he survived a life that he’s only saw on TV, and dares him to open up the cage and find out just how tame this tiger really is. Miz starts to go for him, but MVP beats him to the punch and a brawl commences. MVP delivers a flying forearm and a drive by kick sending Miz to the floor. Amazing promo that got a lot of time, and allowed a few midcarders to shine for once. Great job.
-A look back at last year’s Hall of Fame induction ceremony, and the announcement that tickets go on sale next week.
WWE Diva’s Championship Tournament First Round: Eve Torres vs. Katie Lea Burchill
Katie Lea gets the jobber entrance as if this result was in a doubt, and Maryse joins the commentary team. Katie Lea grabs a bow and arrow, and then delivers a backbreaker for two. Katie delivers a spin kick, but Eve ducks a clothesline and delivers one of her own for two. Katie comes back a forearm, but a backdrop is blocked by a kick. Eve hits a dropkick, but misses a flipping legdrop at two. Eve then rolls up Katie out of nowhere to pick up the pin at 1:53. This match stunk like hot garbage.
Winner: Eve Torres (Pinfall-Rollup -*)
-Carlito talks to Gail Kim, and is putting the moves on her as Vince walks by. He’s NEXT!
WWE Diva’s Championship Tournament First Round: Eve Torres vs. Katie Lea Burchill
Katie Lea gets the jobber entrance as if this result was in a doubt, and Maryse joins the commentary team. Katie Lea grabs a bow and arrow, and then delivers a backbreaker for two. Katie delivers a spin kick, but Eve ducks a clothesline and delivers one of her own for two. Katie comes back a forearm, but a backdrop is blocked by a kick. Eve hits a dropkick, but misses a flipping legdrop at two. Eve then rolls up Katie out of nowhere to pick up the pin at 1:53. This match stunk like hot garbage.
Winner: Eve Torres (Pinfall-Rollup -*)
-Carlito talks to Gail Kim, and is putting the moves on her as Vince walks by.
-Vince is out and he wants to put an end to the rumors that he has hired extra security because he’s scared of Bret. Bret Hart isn’t here tonight, because Bret is intimidated. Vince says twelve years ago, Bret screwed Bret, but last week he screwed Bret. He said last week Bret wanted to play nice, and put the past behind him, but Vince doesn’t play nice. He says he doesn’t forget and doesn’t forgive. He said if Bret wanted closure he got it lying on the mat humbled and humiliated by Vince. Vince says if he wants closure again, he won’t get it because Bret will never, ever, be seen in the WWE again. Well that’s it, the rumors were all wrong, Bret will never be back. Ever. I mean, why would Vince lie?
DX vs. Chris Jericho and Mike Tyson
Back from the break and out comes the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions DX. They cut a promo and HBK tells The Undertaker that he wants his answer on their WrestleMania match next week. Out next comes Chris Jericho. If Jericho wins this match, he gets to be on any WWE brand he wants. Out next comes Jericho’s partner, Mike Tyson, in a black T and pants.
Tyson and Michaels start the match. Tyson locks up and HBK goes down. They lock up again and go to the ropes. They lock up a third time and Tyson shoves HBK back to the mat. HBK charges Tyson but runs into a big right hand. Triple H is tagged in and he comes face to face with Tyson. They lock up and go to the corner. They exchange shoves and Tyson gets pissed. They lock up again and go to the corner. Jericho tags himself in and works over Triple H.
Jericho runs into a right hand from Shawn and Triple H takes control. HBK is tagged in. He goes for a roll-up but Jericho counters it for a 2 count. They trade 2 counts. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho but HBK fights it off. HBK rolls Jericho up for another 2 count. Jericho hits an enziguri and tags Tyson back in. Tyson taunts HBK. Hornswoggle’s music hits and out he comes to the ring, dressed like a boxer. Cole calls him Evander Holyswoggle. Tyson laughs at Hornswoggle and tags Jericho in. DX come in the ring and back up Hornswoggle. Tyson comes in and stands behind Jericho. Tyson takes his shirt off and has a DX shirt on. Jericho turns around and gets dropped by a right hand from Tyson. Jericho is pinned for the DX win.
Winners: DX
– After the match, Tyson and DX do crotch chops over Jericho and celebrate with Hornswoggle. Tyson looks extremley excited. Triple H goes over and brings Tyson’s son into the ring to celebrate with them. Hornswoggle kicks Jericho out to the floor. Tyson, his son, Hornswoggle and DX pose in the ring and do crotch chops as the pyro goes off. RAW goes off the air with everyone posing in the center of the ring.